Here’s the U.S. Department of Eduction’s list of words that are now forbidden in our nation’s classrooms.
“These words are harmful to students and to all individuals in American society,” a spokesperson for the Department of Education reportedly said.
Fearing that certain words and topics brainwash students and make them feel “uncomfortable”, education officials are demanding that over 50 words be removed from classrooms across America. The changes must be in effect by September, 2012 or else offending schools will face heavy penalties.
The word “dinosaur” made the hit list because dinosaurs suggest evolution which creationists might not like. “Halloween” is targeted because it suggests paganism; a “birthday” might not be happy to all because it isn’t celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses.
“Republican” is banned because it is associated with “dissent” and “obstruction”, according to Department of Education sources.
Words that suggest wealth are excluded because they could make kids jealous. “Poverty” is also on the forbidden list.
“In a throwback to “Footloose,” the word “dancing” is also taboo. However, there is good news for kids that like “ballet”: The city made an exception for this form of dance.
Also banned are references to “divorce” and “disease,” because kids taking the tests may have relatives who split from spouses or are ill.
Some students think banning these words from periodic assessment tests is ridiculous. Those students have been expelled from their schools.
A Department of Education spokesperson said, “we’re not an outlier in being politically correct. This is just making sure that test makers are sensitive in the development of their tests, and in the development of good American citizens.”
Here is the complete list of words that are banned:
Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological)
Alcohol (beer and liquor), tobacco, or drugs
Birthday celebrations (and birthdays)
Bodily functions
Cancer (and other diseases)
Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes)
Celebrities
Children dealing with serious issues
Cigarettes (and other smoking paraphernalia)
Computers in the home (acceptable in a school or library setting)
Crime
Death and disease
Divorce
Evolution
Expensive gifts, vacations, and prizes
Freedom
Gambling involving money
George Bush (both of them)
Guns
Halloween
Homelessness
Homes with swimming pools
Hunting
Jesus Christ
Junk food
Just Bieber (it’s just too much now)
In-depth discussions of sports that require prior knowledge
Loss of employment
Moses
Nuclear weapons
Occult topics (i.e. fortune-telling)
Parapsychology
Politics
Pornography
Poverty
Rap Music
Religion
Religious holidays and festivals (including but not limited to Christmas, Yom Kippur, and Ramadan)
Republican
Rich People
Rock-and-Roll music
Ronald Reagan
Running away
Sex (“oral sex” is allowed because it is not “sex”)
Slavery
Terrorism
Television and video games (excessive use)
The Bible
Traumatic material (including material that may be particularly upsetting such as animal shelters)
Vermin (rats and roaches)
Violence
War and bloodshed
Weapons (guns, knives, etc.)
Witchcraft, sorcery, etc.
Wow soon they will want to censor acts happening in real life on real time. This is so stupid why not try reasoning instead of hiding these words away. Ill tel u what the problem is, people r scared when they cant answer kids questions but being able to find out the answers is one of lifes joys. Stop hiding and instead explain these words and forget about people getting ”offended” people who has a sense of reasoning will be able to understand
Erm, hello chuck. Don't u know that this online paper is satire. It's a joke dude!
although wwn does publish satirical stories, this one happens to be true. even funnier.
I found out it's true in just New York City, not the whole nation. Has something to do with standardized testing in schools.
Ralph, I hope you're joking.
Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech?
I agree.
Talking is unfare to deaf people so no talking!
Jehovah's Witnesses reject Birthdays all holidays,Thanksgiving even benign Mother's day.
The Watchtower leaders want to be 'different' for the sake of being different.Jehovah's Witnesses are a dysfunctional group from the get-go .
Christmas-Jesus was not born on exactly Dec 25th,but he also did not have his *invisible* second coming in the month of October 1914,a falsehood that is the core doctrine of the Watchtower religion.
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''tell the truth don't be afraid–Danny Haszard http://www.dannyhaszard.com
it should be happened. Great
I hope they change the name of the Department of Education into the Department of the Uneducated.
How can students be taught history without the mention of war?
The word “dinosaur” made the hit list because dinosaurs suggest evolution which creationists might not like. “Halloween” is targeted because it suggests paganism; a “birthday” might not be happy to all because it isn’t celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses.