TEENS GET HIGH ON BATH SALTS

BATON ROUGE, LA- Teens are getting high on bath salts and bubble bath solutions.
Authorities have recently discovered that many teens and young adults are using bath salts and bubble bath solutions to get high.
Youths are ingesting bath salt by snorting, injecting and smoking the powdery substance; while the bubble bath solution is consumed in the same manner, it requires to be “cooked” first. Cooking the solution involves pouring the liquid into a glass pan and baking it in the oven. The liquid turns into a powder and is then consumed.
This new drug epidemic originated in Baton Rouge, LA but has quickly spread throughout the entire state, as well as all of Mississippi and Alabama. Referred to on the street as ivory wave, white lighting, dove scrub, Hurricane Katrina and Mr. Bubble; this new drug is now beginning to infiltrate high schools and college campuses across the nation. The drug is known to produce the following effects: hallucinations, euphoria, rapid heart rate, overall happiness, and anal leakage. The last effect most of the users don’t seem to want but feel that the other effects outweigh the one minor drawback.
“The butt thing is manageable, we just buy some of those old people diapers and we’re good to go,” said Jim Rogers a junior at some college and “clean freak”, “I have such an awesome time when I’m cleaning that I usually forget about the leakage.”  “Cleaning” is the street term for using the new drug and users are known as “clean freaks”. The term cleaning has been the source of much confusion for many parents.

“At first I was very proud of my son to hear that he was constantly cooking and cleaning. But when I discovered what he meant by it, I was livid,” said Judy Kicklighter, mother of a youth now addicted to “cooking and cleaning”.

Seasoned drug addicts have even said that this new drug has “got nothing on crack and heroin”. Hallucinogenic episodes have been reported to be as intense as the sight that one sees when you walk in on your parents doing the dirty.  Meth heads tend to think that high is just okay.
“I stay away from those clean freaks,” said a resident homeless man in downtown Baton Rouge, known as Hobo Tommy, “those bitches will clean your clock if you don’t keep your eye on ‘em!”
Officials are warning the public to simply stay away from these products altogether. The state of Louisiana has even gone as far as to ban bathing statewide. Mississippi has only suggested that people stop taking baths. Both states, however, have announced that showing is okay. No one in Alabama bathes or showers anyway, so the state has not had to issue any public service announcements regarding this epidemic.