CHIMNEY WORMHOLE

MONTLUCON, FRANCE –  A chimney sweep discovers a chimney wormhole!
The massive winter weather that has affected much of Europe has been a blessing for one man. Sebastien Simard, a chimney sweep, has been called out to more jobs this season than any other. T
There has been so much snow fall and such extremely frigid weather that several homes have been using their fire places non-stop. “I have been called out to a job at least twice a day, everyday, if not more,” explained Simard.
On a recent job Simard made an incredible discovery. When he placed one of his wire brushes up the fireplace it immediately got sucked right out of his hands. He repeated the action several times yielding the same results.
Strangely enough one of our Weekly World News correspondents from Japan was reporting on another strange incident as well.  Apparently a family in Japan kept finding chimney cleaning tools in their fireplace and was worried that the paranormal might have been involved.
When editors saw the similarities in the two stories they thought that perhaps there was a connection between the two incidents. Ph.D. Ape was called in to help connect the dots. As it turns out the two chimneys in Japan and France are connected by a wormhole.

A wormhole is basically a short cut through time and space. Many scientists often use the example of conventional space being folded over itself, allowing two portals to be connect through hyperspace. Ph.D. Ape was kind enough to provide us with this illustration.
The owners of the homes, who wish to remain anonymous, have decided to start up their own overnight shipping service to compete with FedEx, DHL and UPS. The only down side is that they can only ship between France and Japan. The owners are hoping that Ph.D. Ape will study the phenomenon in order to create more wormholes around the planet so that they can expand their business. Ph.D. Ape is awaiting a contract to review before committing to the project.