ANCHORAGE, AK — The world’s largest canola oil spill happened in the Bering Sea last week!
Emergency vessels rushed Saturday toward a struggling cargo ship, Stockholm Seas, carrying almost a million gallons of canola oil (Canadian Oil, Low Acid). The canola oil ship was drifting in the strong winds and rough waters in the Bering Sea when it started leaking canola. The Emergency vessels were too late – there’s now canola oil covering large swaths of the Bering Sea.
The tough and rugged Stockholm Seas Captain, Bengt Hofverberg, was not only worried about his crew, the marine life and the Alaskan shoreline, but he was also concerned about the many people around the world that would be adversely affected by this disaster, “Millions of sponge cakes will be ruined this holiday season!” Hofverberg said.
The ship was about 28 miles north of Atka when harsh weather began moving in late Friday afternoon, according to the Coast Guard and other responders.
A powerful commercial towing vessel was expected to reach the ship and a Coast Guard cutter was expected – but they got there too late.
“”Deadliest Catch” stars – Jonathan and Andy Hillstrand – have rallied Bering Sea fishermen to help clean up the canola. “We love the Bering Sea, we hate to see it contaminated with rapeseed oil. We are going to do everything in our power to help clean it up – and make sure we film every second for our show,” said Jonathan Hillstrand
Responders said the vessel, which is managed by Atlantic Marine, based in Athens, Greece, lost its turbo charger. That left it without enough power to overcome 29-foot seas and winds blowing at 45 mph.
Capt. Bengt Hofverberg, considered by many to be the finest Canola Ship Captain to ever live, said he did everything he could to keep the boat afloat, “but the sea is an angry raccoon, sometimes if you hit it with a mop and it will go away, and sometimes they’ll spill your canola.”
A Coast Guard C-130 aircraft flew over the Stockholm Seas and confirmed it was sinking fast, Petty Officer David Marley said.
Marley said the Swedish-flagged ship is carrying approximately 990,500 gallons of pure Grade-A canola oil.
President Obama praised Captain Hofverberg for his bravery in face of leaking canola. He then ordered the White House Staff to buy as much canola oil as possible to store in the White House pantry. “The President uses canola on everything, especially his morning muffins. He loves to pour canola on his muffins,” said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. “His muffins are always covered in canola.”
Officials said the ship was also carrying a full load of canola seed as well, but didn’t elaborate on the quantity. The ship was en route from Vancouver, Canada, to the United Arab Emirates, the Coast Guard said.
“They love their canola oil in the UAE. This is going to be devastating for them,” Hofverberg said.
What will Christmas be like without canola? Will the Bering Sea now become the sponge cake capital of the world? Will Captain Hofverberg find another Canola Ship?
Weekly World News is covering the Canola Spill round the clock! It has the potential to be much bigger than the BP Oil spill, so keep checking back for updates…
A flotilla of vinegar-baring vessels have been seen moving aggressively into the area.
An air drop of "baco-bits" is expected soon.
These are the salad days.
This is VERY funny!
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