ALBANY, NY — A shapely female alien accused former NY Governor, Andrew Cuomo, of groping her breasts. And the bizarre incident nearly sparked an interstellar war!
That is the mind-boggling claim of a source close to the District Attorney for the state of New York, who uncovered evidence of the alleged 2021 encounter. She presented it to NY Assembly as Governor Cuomo was dealing with other accusations.
“Republican members of the New York House considered adding the matter as a separate charge against the former Governor Cuomo. They claim that Cuomo’s action endangered the security of New York State,” said the sources who insisted on complete anonymity. “But in the end, they were unwilling to break a longstanding bipartisan agreement to keep all proof of human-alien contact secret.”
The source claims that the incident occurred when a small delegation of extraterrestrials met with Governor Cuomo and former President Bill Clinton to fine-tune a trade agreement.
“The alien party included an ambassador, a representative of the military, and a female who handled communications duties,” said a source close to the New York State D.A.
The meeting went well until the group took a bathroom. break. When the male aliens were out of the room, smooth-operator, Cuomo, allegedly sidled up to the bulbous-headed beautify, who was clad in a. body-hugging lycra-like jumpsuit.
“The alien girl claims that when no one was looking, the former NY Governor put his hand on her waist. And then on her breasts,” said the source.
The red-faced female E.T. let loose a squawk of dismay. As her companions rushed to her side, she began yakking in a series of clicks and whirring sounds. All the while, she was pointing at Governor Cuomo, according to detailed notes on the encounter obtained by WWN.
The alien military liaison became incensed and remarked angrily that many planets had been incinerated for far less severe insults to their empire.
Luckily, quick-thinking Hillary Clinton, came it the rescue, the source said. “She was able to convince the aliens that Cuomo’s gesture was a sign of goodwill and friendship.”
Beleaguered Cuomo aides are hoping to ride out the latest sex scandal by keeping mum.
“We’re just praying that no one takes these charges seriously,” said a source close to Chris Cuomo, the ex-governor’s brother.
“Hopefully this will all blow over in the next 2 weeks.” But a Democratic strategist close to Cuomo said he is “absolutely livid.”
“This so-called groping incident simply didn’t happen and the Governor wants the American people to know that,” said the strategist.