FIRE BREAKS OUT ON THE MOON!

WASHINGTON — Raging wildfires erupted on the moon last week in a phenomenon that researchers say can’t possibly explain how fires can burn and spread without oxygen in the icy vastness of space. Some bible scholars and clergymen are saying that the situation is important proof that the end of the world is near. Other scholars believe that this might signify that a new golden era on Earth is about to begin.

In fact, the famed evangelist Dr. Johnny Walton is said to be planning a worldwide television address to draw attention to this dramatic, and some might say frightening, new sign that the End Times are here. While evangelist and psychic, Dr. Wendy Powell is planning a worldwide address to celebrate the coming of the golden age.

Scientists across the globe are struggling to explain it. “Explain it? How the hell do you expect me to explain it?” said Dr. John Ratheter an astrophysicist and NASA advisor who is investigating the case.

“Fires are raging out of control on the surface of the moon in an atmosphere and environment that contain neither oxygen more combustible materials like this.

“All we can do is observe the situation and seek answers to questions that we aren’t even prepped to ask.

“Questions like, ‘Is this the work of a Supreme Being who can defy the laws of physics with a wave of His hand?”

“That is hardly something that we, as scientists, should be concerned with. But when we see the impossible happening, we really have no choice.

“We have to start our inquiry somewhere.”

SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS

Astronomers around the world first noticed a change in the brightness of the moon on August 20th.

NASA began its investigation several days later.

And even though nobody in the space agency is willing to discuss it for the record. Dr. Ratheter obtained photographs that clearly show wildfires the size of continents burning on the lunar surface.

The photographs are dramatic enough to make even laymen do a double-take.

But experts like Dr. Ratheter are absolutely beside themselves “because conventional scientific wisdom doesn’t allow for fires on the moon.”

It remains to be seen how NASA will continue its investigation and to what lengths the space agency will go to find out exactly what is happening to the moon.

Dr. Ratheter and other researchers are hoping that NASA will launch a moon problem, but it is highly doubtful that they could prepare such a launch before December at the earliest.

While scientists seek answers, clergymen and Bible scholars taking the opportunity to link the phenomenon to the end of the world OR the beginning of the golden age.

A spokesman for Dr. Walton said a statement from the evangelist is pending. But other Bible experts are voicing strong opinions now.

“If you don’t think that a fire on the moon signals the golden age, you’re beyond help,” the Reverend Bill Singletary of Melbourne, Australia, told FoxOne.

“In the Bible’s book of Revelation, we read that in the golden age the moon will turn red — red as fire — and that is precisely what is happening now.

“My advice to Christians and everyone else is to prepare for the greatest of all times.”