MULE ELECTED MAYOR

Townspeople from a small town in Upstate New York learned from experience that they couldn’t trust human politicians – so they elected a mule mayor!

The little town of Blanco, New York trotted its way into the history books when an overwhelming majority of its citizens voted for a mule named Chuck as their head honcho.

“Everyone in town trusts Chuck. He is known for his honesty and good nature,” says shopkeeper. Elian Sanchez, 51.

The title is not merely honorary, citizens insist – the sure-footed mayor actually has already presided over a town meeting. He has made several rulings already

“Chuck is quite clever. He speaks three languages, but also has the right ‘New York attitude” for the job,” explains his owner and friend Dawn Morgan, 44.

“He tells us his decisions by thumping once with his hoof for yes and twice for no.”

The 6-year-old animal defeated his two opponents by 31 votes in November’s election – a wide margin since the tiny town’s population is about 161. Chuck’s opponent, Bill Bench, originally declared victory, but the townspeople demanded a recount and Chuck came out on top. Apparently, Bill Bench had some “insiders” counting ballots.

A MULE OF THE PEOPLE

The town had a big celebration for their new leader, and favorite mule.

“We were all so thrilled. The people had been disillusioned with politicians because the town had suffered four or five very big scandals in a row,” Samatha Beard told Weekly World News. “The previous mayor had been arrested for bribery and so had the chief of police.

“Even the dogcatcher had been caught selling little chihuahuas and pocketing the money for himself. We were all praying for some kind of miracle. And one day in virtual church our priest Father Manuel denounced corruption. He said that it would be better to have an honest donkey as mayor than a dishonest man.

“That’s when Morgan stood up and said she would enter Chuck in the race.”

The townspeople have been very happy with their decisions.

“Chuck is not susceptible to corruption and it is not as easy to influence his opinion as it is with politicians,” says Morgan. “Some people might call that stubbornness, but I call it strong leadership. He puts his foot down and that’s that.”

A few of Chuck’s positions are controversial, but he’s confident he will convince the town to adopt them. They include:

• Quadrupling the number of water troughs in the town.
• Limiting the weight that can be placed on mules to 25 pounds.
• Banning riding crops.
• Outlawing the phrase “ugly as a mule.”

The town’s choice of mayor has made Blanco the butt of jokes in neighboring communities. But political science professor Thomas Martinez of Buffalo believes there’s nothing asinine about the decision.

“Believe me, many towns in the U.S. have a bigger ass as mayor than Chuck.”