DISNEY BEGINS PRODUCTION OF MAD TEA PARTY THRILLER

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Production on Disney’s Mad Tea Party reportedly began in Anaheim California this week.  The gritty, live-action film will be Disney’s first film with an R rating. Steven Spielberg is reportedly directing a retinue of A list names in the film. Industry insiders say that it could be one of Disney’s more expensive productions. 

The legendary theme park is currently closed. It’s an unprecedented move that Disney executives attribute to “deep cleansing.” However, film crews have recently been spotted in the park. Portable trailers dot the parking, fueling speculation that the park is being used as a set for the hack and slash pic. 

Even though the world is shocked that a family-friendly studio would produce a horror movie, filming has begun. Many fans have applauded Disney for providing adult content. But various parents groups and the Pope have spoken out against the company. The Vatican released a statement condemning Disney. The Pople called the production a “threat to children and the innocent universally.”

A DREAM CAST

Helen Hunt and Ben Affleck lead the cast alongside Benicio Del Toro, Bobcat Goldthwait and Kermit The Frog. Steven Spielberg and Disney have had a long working relationship. But Mad Tea Party apparently takes that friendship to a new level.  Project insiders report that Mr. Spielberg has insisted on appearing in the film himself. He will be making his horror debut as the menacing Pink Teacup in this swirling chiller.    

But the real attention is on his verdant co-star. This is Kermit’s first project since leaving rehab just two weeks ago.  Friends and aides surrounding the amphibious megastar are keeping a vigilant eye on Kermit. Nipsy Handel, Kermit’s enigmatic manager spoke to the press on Sunday evening. “Mr. The Frog is excited about this chance to get right back into a serious project. His recovery has been a positive and empowering event in his life. Kermit is grateful to have been able to participate in the process.”  

Readers will remember that Kermit The Frog entered rehab last spring after he lost the love of his life Miss Piggy in a tragic and fatal misunderstanding at the Four State Barbeque Competition in Four Corners, New Mexico [see this link for recipe: https://www.bbqguys.com/bbq-learning-center/recipes/whole-pig-roast-on-the-rotisserie-of-the-blaze-professional-gas-grill].  The lovelorn polymorph was on suicide watch for three weeks. He was in rehab at the Betty Ford Clinic in Rancho Mirage, California. He was released two weeks early so he could join the Mad Tea Party cast in Anaheim.

WHAT A WILD RIDE IT WILL BE!

Mad Tea Party follows in the tradition of “Pirates of The Caribbean,” “The Haunted House,” and “Jungle Cruise.” It is another popular theme park attraction that they hope will turn into a blockbuster franchise. And of course, will allow Disney to sell a slew of adorable merchandise.

Stephen King reportedly wrote the screenplay. He also wrote “It’s NOT a Small World After All,” and “America Sings A Revolving Musical.”  Both of these films received critical acclaim during awards season. However his third offering, “Carousel Horses: When We Ran Free,” caused Disney a great deal of backlash from the animal rights community. It also earned a mountain of tear-stained letters from heartbroken children. Mad Tea Party will be King’s first work since going into seclusion after “Carousel Horses.”

Disney producers are excited about the upcoming film. They are assuring protesters, skeptics, and fans alike that Mad Tea Party will offer audiences a heart-stopping, centrifugal experience like no other. Motion Sickness bags will be provided by Glad.

Moviegoers are urged to secure their belongings under their seats during the film. They are also advised to keep their arms and legs inside the theater at all times. “But even if you do,” the producers added ominously, ”Body parts might go flying!”

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