PhD APE TO TESTIFY TO CONGRESS

Subpoenaed by Congress. The only being who can tell the truth!

Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff shocked many in Washington by subpoenaing Ph.D. Ape to testify to Congress with regard to the impeachment of President Trump.

There has been a great deal of confusion and controversy surrounding the impeachment inquiry that was launched in the House of Representatives. And the nationally televised impeachment hearing began today with a great deal of the country watching.

There is only one being that has the intelligence, common sense and sterling integrity to get to the bottom of the impeachment issue: Ph.D. Ape. Politicians in Washington DC have turned to Ph.D. Ape for the last two decades to solve difficult problems and to bring the two parties together.

Therefore, Ph.D. was called to testify before Congress. He will not be speaking on behalf of President Trump nor will he be speaking on the behalf of Democrats in Congress. Ph.D. has a fully independent view of the situation and the whole world is eager to hear what he has to say.

CUTTING THROUGH THE DISTRACTIONS

It is difficult in this media circus, to get to the truth, especially with other distraction in the hearing room. When ghosts of Andrew Jackson and Richard Nixon frightened several Congressional aides, and the hearings had to be halted for an hour.

Additionally, Bill Clinton stood up in the gallery and screamed, “not guilty”. This confused many in the audience and former President Clinton had to be removed from the hearing.

Ph.D. Ape was watching the hearings and did not flinch when he saw was the ghosts of the ex-Presidents and by the rude behavior of President Clinton during the hearing. “Nothing can ruffle Ph.D. Ape,” said his attorney, Jacob Myerowitz. “He doesn’t need anybody’s help and I am just here as a friend, to help him file the paperwork.”

PH.D. APE SUPPORTERS

There are a number of supporters who will be sitting behind Ph.D. Ape for the hearings. Manigator has left the swamps of Louisiana to attend the hearings as been a longtime supporter of Ph.D. Ape. P’Lod, the alien, who has advised the last six Presidents and is currently Hillary Clinton’s lover, will also be in attendance.

The big surprise is that Bat Boy will be attending the hearings to support Ph.d. Ape. Bat Boy is leaving the campaign trail (he’s running for President in 2020), but he would not miss the opportunity to support his dear friend.

Nobody knows what to expect from Ph.D. Ape in the hearings, but many feel that if there is anyone on the planet who can make sense of the Ukraine mess, it’s Ph.D. Ape.

Weekly World News will be at the hearings to report on his testimony, which could be wild.

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