SOUTH AFRICA – At a worldwide Alien Summit taking place in Johannesburg, experts are speculating that the Gootans are here to plunder earth of its gold.
TULSA, OK — Congress has just greenlit horse slaughterhouses. Horse meat will be on shelves across American within two weeks.
BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – Charlie Sheen has been in Colombia for the last week, trying to start his own drug cartel.
I’m madder than a Chinaman in a driver’s ed class about China taking over the world, because they’re not going to take this Yankee to the cleaners.
RICHMOND, MA – Killer Fisher Cats are attacking cats, dogs, bears, horses and humans in the Berkshires. Locals are advised to stay indoors!
LIJANG, CHINA – Three alien spaceships landed on earth today! Two in China and one in the Indonesian Sea.
10,000 Mexican “undead” walked through the streets of Mexico City looking for brains to eat.
NEW YORK, NY – Today marks the shopping holiday called Cyber Monday, which is also the biggest holiday of the robot year.
The rocket fired by NASA on Saturday failed to hit it’s targets. The alien spaceships will be here within 40 hours.
LOS ANGELES – Miley Cyrus turned 19 recently and on Saturday night she was given the prestigious Marley Award – for being the biggest stoner of 2011.