CHICAGO – Oprah announced her latest book club selection: GOING MUTANT – Bat Boy Exposed!
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The U.S. Center for Disease Control has issued a warning: zombie turkeys are on the loose!
NEW YORK – Bat Boy fans, take to the streets! The mutant’s balloon has been removed from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!
HOLLYWOOD – After coming in third on last night’s DTWS finale, Bristol Palin bought the cast, crew and all her fans – Bat Boy Bobbleheads!
SOUTH ASIA – Flying snakes have become more and more prevalent in Asia and the United States.
BOISE, ID – A Boise physician has volunteered to perform breast exams in bars and nightclubs. And the women of Idaho support him.
JOPLIN, MISSOURI – Wi-Fi systems are killing trees across America. There may be no way to reverse the damage.
JUNEAU, ALASKA – Sarah Palin is a robot and she/it malfunctioned during her new reality show!
DUBLIN – Amid a growing financial crisis, Ireland’s Prime Minister has asked the U.S. to make Ireland the 51st state.