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MT. REDOUBT, AK – Scientists set up a webcam on Mount Redoubt to monitor volcanic activity, but discovered more than they bargained for.
LOS ANGELES, CA – Suzanne Somers has recently come forward with the experimental hormone program which will give her eternal life.
I’m madder than Lindsay Lohan with a stuffed up nose about that moron Matt Damon.
NEW YORK, NY – Elisabeth Hasselbeck has just she is expecting a child in August – and The View co-hosts have already forced her into bedrest!
SUNDERLAND, UK – The current leader of England’s Conservative Party has vowed to release secret UFO files if he becomes prime minister.
WASHINGTON, DC – Last night, Congress passed a proposed $819 billion stimulus package. At a vote of 244 to 188, the bill passed despite no Republican support.
AUSTIN, TX – A group of brave citizens hijacked a roadside sign to warn of a possible zombie outbreak!
SEATTLE, WA – Secretaries have begun rioting near Starbucks’ headquarters after news spread that decaf coffee would no longer be brewed after noon.
NORFOLK, VA – After being rejected by NBC for risque content, PETA has reshot their TV ad in a bid to nab a Superbowl slot.