LOS ANGELES, CA – Plans for Michael Jackson’s funeral have been revealed by his estate.
Michael Jackson died yesterday afternoon of a heart attack.  People all over the world mourn the loss of the King of Pop.  In cities across the globe people gathered in squares and parks with candles in hand to mournfully sing his classics like “Beat It” and “Don’t Stop till You Get Enough.”  In Utah the Salt Lake City Boys Choir did an a cappella version of “Billie Jean” that was broadcast on loudspeakers into the city and on Mormon Television Networks.
Representatives of the Jackson estate have released a statement detailing some of the plans for Mr. Jackson’s funeral.  In his will Jackson wishes for his body to be cremated and sprinkled over the surface of the moon.  However since then his finances have taken a downturn and new plans have had to be created.
A somber and respectful service will be held at an upscale funeral home in Los Angeles.  The funeral will be closed casket, with a large picture of Michael from 1982.    Seated front row will be Jackson’s ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley, the  skeleton of the Elephant Man, Bubbles 4 (the most recent pet monkey to carry the name), and Macaulay Culkin.  The remaining members of the Four Tops, The Temptations, Stevie Wonder, Diana Ross and the Supremes will all perform at the ceremony to pay their respects.  Acting as pallbearers will be the Harlem Globetrotters, who made Michael an honorary member in 1978.
President Barack Obama has expressed his sadness at the news of Jackson’s death.  In respect he held his press conference on the matter wearing one white glove.  Secret Service reports indicate he spent last night drinking scotch and moon-walking through the White House.
Sources within the intelligence community believe that Kim Jong Il may be planning a tribute concert in Pyongyang, wearing a red leather version of his standard jumpsuit.  Photographs show Kim Jong Il desperately trying to learn the dance to Thriller.
The closed casket, and other details, have raised some questions.  Yesterday afternoon also saw a flurry of strange meteorological activity over the New Mexico desert.  When asked, one source working out of Area 51 who wishes to remain anonymous said “Michael?  He not dead.  He’s just going home.”
Despite his many controversies and eccentricities the world mourns the loss of this unforgettable musical icon.

CHECK OUT Weekly World News’ extensive photo timeline of Jackson’s life.


  1. Religion gives false peace to the hearts of people. Jesus gives true peace because Jesus is the prince of peace. Dear Jackson family, stop trusting in you religious inclinations. Start trusting in the lord Jesus christ to save you from hell fire.

  2. Jermaine, Islam is a false and satanic religion that does not offer true salvation to the soul of mankind. Islam is a deceptive religion. Islam was founded by the false prophet muhammed whom satan used mightily to start a false religion. Islam will crumble and become totally extinct in the powerful name of our lord and saviour Jesus christ. Jermaine, come to Jesus. Jesus is the saviour of your soul.

  3. Janet Jackson, come to Jesus. Fame is transient. Jesus gives eternal life.the fans applauding you now will not follow you to hell fire when you die. Fame and lust of the world passes away. Salvation in Jesus is eternal. Come to Jesus. Jesus is waiting for you. Jesus is the real solution.

  4. Joseph and katherine Jackson, it is true you have been in the Jehovah witness cult for long. Jesus wants to deliver you from this occultic group of Jehovah witness. Come out of Jehovah witness. Come to Jesus. Jesus saves. Jesus gives true life. Do not remain in your sins. Do not join michael jackson in hell.

  5. Jermaine, do not sell out your precious soul to satan. Islamic religion will fetch you a ticket to hell fire where michael jackson and that deceptive prophet muhammed is. Ask God to deliver you from this bondage to Islamic religion that cannot save your precious soul from hell fire. You are doomed to spend eternity in hell fire if you remain in Islam. Islam is a deceptive religion. Come out of Islam.

  6. Jermaine, stop wasting your precious life in Islam. The soul of man has no duplicate. There is only one life to live, and after death, judgement. Why do you want to spend eternity in hell fire? Fellow Jacksons, accept Jesus as your lord and personal saviour.

  7. I seize this opportunity to share the gospel of the lord Jesus christ with the Jackson family. Hell is real. Unfortunately, Michael Jackson has gone to hell fire. I do not desire any member of the Jackson family to spend eternity in hell fire. Jermaine, leave Islam. Embrace Jesus. Islam will not save your soul from hell. Jacksons, leave Jehovah witness cult. Come to Jesus. Jesus is the true saviour.

  8. Stop with the preaching on here already. If you think the jackson family actually reads this crap, your mistaken. Religion has already been proven false. Do you believe in dinasaurs? If you do, then you can't believe in Jesus and disnasaurs at the same time. Moron.

  9. My loving Raptor, there are many false religions in the world like Islam, Buddhism, hinduism, catholicism and so on. My loving Raptor, kindly surrender your life to Jesus. Jesus loves you and died for your sins and rose again on the third day for your justification. Raptor, do not go to hell fire. Accept Jesus today.

  10. Raptor, I love you with the love of Jesus. I thank God for your life. I appeal to you to surrender your life to Jesus. Jesus is the saviour of your soul. God bless your precious soul.

  11. My darling Raptor, true christianity is not a religion. True christianity is a relationship with the Almighty God. Do not reject Jesus, Raptor. Jesus died for you.

  12. Islam is a futile, dark, useless, ignorant and satanically inspired religion that leads its adherents to hell fire. Muhammed and Michael Jackson are in hell fire already. Do not join them there. Islam cannot save your precious soul from hell fire. Jermaine and fellow american muslims, come out of this tyrant, wicked religion. Follow Jesus. Jesus is the true way to heaven.

  13. Dear fan of michael jackson, Jesus loves you and died for your sins on the cross on the calvary. Jesus rose again on the third day for your redemption and deliverance from Satan. Give your life to Jesus. Jesus wants to be the lord of your life.

  14. Michael Jackson is dead and in hell. Repent and surrender your lives to Jesus christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Hell is real. If you die outside Jesus christ you go to hell. All muslims, hypocrites and ungodly, unholy christians go to hell. Only true genuinely holy and righteous born again christians go to heaven when they die.

  15. There is no salvation outside our lord and saviour Jesus christ. Jesus died to redeem mankind back to God. Islam is a false religion. Jesus is the only way, truth and the life. Come to Jesus today. Repent from your sinful ways. Live a holy and righteous life. Heaven is real. Hell is real. Do not go to hell. Choose heaven. Accept Jesus christ as your lord and saviour.

  16. Jermaine, abandon Islam. Islam cannot save your soul. Come to Jesus. Jesus christ is the saviour of the world. Janet, stop posing nude. It paints a picture of prostitution on your integrity. Surrender your life to Jesus christ. You are going to hell if you are not a born again child of God. To the rest of the Jackson family, leave Jehovah witness cult. Accept Jesus christ as your lord and personal saviour. Join a true genuine bible believing church. Hell is real.

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