NEW YORK, NY – Rosie O’Donnell may split from her spouse of 5 years. world renowned therapist PhD Ape runs to the rescue.
News broke earlier this week that Rosie O’Donnell, comedienne and talk show host, has entered a “rough patch” with her partner Kelli Carpenter. A tearful Rosie spoke to reporters only briefly, saying that they both were focusing on the well being of their children. PhD Ape dropped what he was doing, mid-session with Amy Winehouse, and immediately came to Rosie’s aid.
PhD Ape has been a huge fan of O’Donnell for years. Orignially the two met while Rosie was still a stand-up comic. PhD Ape saw her performing at a small club in the San Fransisco area and loved her act. Since then he has seen all of her movies, been at the tapings of many of her shows, and even acquired tickets to every awards program she has ever hosted.
After a quick transatlantic flight PhD Ape was by Rosie’s side offering to help during her time of crisis. “Ms. O’Donnell is a artist and a professional who has given joy to countless millions” he told reporters who sprinted after him in LaGuardia Airport. “I am here to offer my professional services while she is going through, this, difficult period. Do any of you know where I can get a taxi? Anyone?” The Doctor of Psychology then jumped on top of a yellow cab that was already headed into Manhattan.
O’Donnell is believed to have spent most of Wednesday in Therapy with PhD Ape. Whether this was individual or couples therapy cannot be said. Secretaries for PhD Ape confirm that he has dropped all other appointments until this episode with O’Donnell is taken care of.
PhD ape has his work cut out for him.