Former Jim Jones Acolyte Now CEO of Gatorade!

In need of a leadership shift, Gatorade hired former Jim Jones acolyte Jonathan Ratliff, who not only has been working closely with Gatorade developers for the past 12 years, but also played a pivotal role in the largest mass suicide in the past 1900 years.

Corpse Plane To Paradise

“You’d be surprised how many people die down here every week,” said 63-year-old Timothy Kodera, Airborne Hygiene Consultant for the New York City Sanitation Department.

Civil War Babies

During the Civil War, the Confederacy won a victory in the Battle of Chickamauga and the North’s need for more soldiers forced President Lincoln to create a new branch of the infantry.