BAT BOY REGISTERS TO VOTE IN 48 STATES

AUSTIN, TX – On the campus of The University of Texas yesterday afternoon, Bat Boy registered to vote in the Lone Star State.
This marked the forty-eighth state in which the half-bat, half-boy national icon successfully registered to help the nation decide the next US President.

To Little Fanfare, Margaret Thatcher Finally Admits To Being a Zombie

After years of being hounded by conspiracy theorists and journalists from alternative publications, reporter Michael “Skipper” Entwistle finally got Margaret Thatcher to admit she is a zombie.