WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Barack Obama revealed his “top secret” method for reducing the $14 trillion debt – he’s selling the White House!
J.B. Smitts
MCDONALD'S OPENS ON THE MOON
SAN BERNARDINO – The McDonald’s Corporation announced its plans to expand the franchise into unchartered territory. They’re building a Mickey D’s on the moon!
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE CANCELED!
NEW YORK – Lorne Michaels announced that Saturday Night Live’s 2011 season, its 36th, will be the sketch comedy show’s final season.
STUDY: WATCHING SUPER BOWL CAUSES IMPOTENCE
A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that watching the Super Bowl causes male impotence!
VEGETARIANS ARE PSYCHIC
LOS ANGELES – A new study found that people who follow a vegetarian diet have psychic powers!
GIANT TARANTULA
GRAND CANYON, AZ – A giant Mexican tarantula was seen terrorizing tourists at the Grand Canyon!
ARCHAEOLOGISTS DISCOVER REMAINS OF WINGED HUMANS
NEW ZEALAND – Archeologists at an excavation site in Dunedin, New Zealand, discovered the fossilized remains of winged humans!
FAMILY GUY IS COMING TO BROADWAY!
NEW YORK – The theatrical adaptation of the popular “Family Guy” television show will open on Broadway this April, producers said yesterday.
SCIENTISTS CAPTURE LEPRECHAUN!
DUBLIN – Researchers at University College Dublin made waves in the scientific community by capturing a real live leprechaun!