CARLSBAD, NM – Film director Dan Parnish says the new science-fiction movie he’s shooting will be the most realistic one ever made. He’s casting real aliens in the leading roles!
Parnish’s film, The New Immigrants, is being shot on a closed set in a secret location, surrounded by heavy security.
“I’m tired of seeing those phony movies where humans slap on makeup and dress like aliens,” says the controversial Parnish, who’s known for his fanatical obsession with realism in film. “I refuse to make another movie like that.
“I decided to do a truthful alien movie with no compromises. So I cam to this area where there are hundreds of UFO sightings each year. I was determined to meet the aliens, teach them to act and use them in my movie.”
“I can’t reveal how I made contact with the aliens. But they’ve cooperated with me because they want this story to be told.”
The picture, written and directed by Parnish, tells the heartbreaking story of a family of alien beings who land on Earth. But it’s presented from the point of view of the aliens themselves.
“Your sympathy will definitely be with the aliens,” says press agent Steve Lagwarthe, the only person connected with the film besides Parnish who’s speaking to the press.
Parnish has issued a strict gag order to the cast and crew, but some bizarre reports have been leaked to the world press.
“Cast lunches are out of this world,” says one caterer who prepares meals for the production. “They won’t allow us on the set. They order the meals, we bring the order and leave it with the guards. A typical lunch order includes 27 quarts of kerosene, 11 adobe bricks, 15 cans of latex paint and 12 lead pipes.”
One actor with a minor part in the film who refused to let his name be used says, “As actors, the aliens are not half bad. They’re just a little unpredictable. The cameras will roll, they’ll be doing the scene perfectly, then suddenly change form – from a solid to a sort of gel – and start talking gibberish.
“But for the most part they do great as actors and with training they may soon be dominating Earth’s film and theater community.”
Mr. Lagwarthe says the film is nearly completed and the distribution deal is being finalized.
LMAO!!
You gotta be kidding. Real aliens? I'd sure like to meet some of them, but I guess that will never happen because they don't exist.
You're right, Vanny. Aliens don't exist.
Why are these guys reptilian?? Damn it, where are the ones with fur and a tail and… mammals, please.