BERKELEY, CA – A super-intelligent race of intergalactic tennis aficionados is lobbing an easy one at planet Earth to determine who gets first serve.
To the embarrassment of space sports fans, the ball has been widely described by the scientific community as the ‘green comet’.
“That’s just typical of nerds,” opines Bronx native and diehard New York Mets fan Frank Campanelli. “It’s like that time I took my brother-in-law the geneticist to a ballgame and he asked what quarter it was.”
Confusion aside, humanity is divided on how best to respond to the challenge. Although the technological sophistication required to do anything of the kind is hopelessly out of our reach, many are determined to step up and play.
“As a species, this is the biggest game we’ve ever been in,” said tennis superstar and part-time astronomer Andre Agassi in a statement. “The little green men want to dance, and I say bring it on, Marvin.”
If mankind fails to return the space volley, we will not only forfeit the match, but also cause irreparable damage to our reputation. We may well end up as the universe’s last pick.
We should send Andre Agassi up in a racket-ship to send this unholy overhand back to the space nazis! Where, oh where is Batboy when the world needs him???