CHINESE TO BLOW UP THE MOON

BEIJING – China is plotting to blow up the moon.

China has embarked on a bold plan to control the world’s weather patterns – and it begins with blowing up the moon with nuclear space missiles.

Wiping out the moon, will affect the United States the most, ushering in brutal temperatures that would ruin our agriculture, experts say.

The wild-sounding Chinese scheme was suggested by five scientists last year at the Chinese Government’s National Scientific Forum.   Hu Jintao dismissed the idea outright, but they presented it again this year and after looking at the overall benefit to the China, Jintao has given the idea the green light.

Chinese astrophysicist, Chan Wang, that the moon’s strong gravitational pull gives the Earth an awkward tilt that causes unfavorable weather patterns over China and favors the United States.  “The United States has benefited from the gravitational forces of the Moon.  We just intend to level the playing field,” said Wang.

The Chinese government said that it would consult with the Obama Administration before sending their nuclear warships to take out the moon.  “We want the whole world to be aware of what we are doing.  We think that in the long run, everyone will benefit from the destruction of the moon,” said a high-ranking Chinese government official.

But NASA officials reviewed the data carefully and feel strongly that the destruction of the moon would bring catastrophic changes to the earth and are strongly advising the Obama Administration to do everything in their power to stop it.

“We are reviewing both sides of the argument,” said White House Senior Adviser David Axelrod.  “The fact is China is offering to forgive our entire debt if we allow them to blow up the moon.  It could be a real economic boon for our country.”

“Who needs the moon?” added Robert Gibbs, White House Press Secretary.  “It affects the tides and it’s good for lighting the nighttime sky, and poets seem to love it, but we don’t really need it.”

Hu Jinato will be in Washington next week to discuss this issue directly with President Obama.  “But we’re going to blow it up no matter what.  We don’t need America’s approval,” said Wang.

So, enjoy the moon while you can…

36 thoughts on “CHINESE TO BLOW UP THE MOON”

    • actually the TRUE Story…is that the moon has been attacked before! There are about 32,000 times over the last few billion years that this attack has occurred, yet it still holds fast with its face always pointing to earth. I say to the Chinese…."Go Ahead…Make My Day"

  1. The United States could also free up its debt by blowing China off the map, dont mess with Gods creation it is there for a purpose. Wow cant believe that any one in the United States could be so dumb to even listen to this crap. I guess we are behind times when it comes to education and it must have started when David Axelrod was in school.

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  2. Are you kidding me? What part of

    this sounds like a good idea? We can’t

    be so naiive to assume that we understand

    everything there is to know about the solar system

    and the impact this rediculous idea could bring

    about! This should not even be considered to the

    slightest degree. Our surrounding climate and environment

    in which we live are a couple of things which have molded us into

    being a diverse group of people occupying planet

    earth. Life is a gift not a right, and once we begin

    to toy and drastically alter our habitation we run a

    serious risk of terminating human life all together.

    I have had some bad ideas in my day and have paid the

    consequences for them, and I’m afraid that if this plan

    gets taken any further than it already has then we will

    ultimately have to pay the ultimate consequence. Is it

    really worth the risk? Think about it. Are we as mankind

    dumb enough to think we have all the answers of potential

    repurcussions? I would seriously hope not. I could sit here

    for hours and talk about why this is the worst idea ever

    presented in the history of terrible ideas!!! Ignorance

    is a drastic understatement!!!

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  3. Also the moon has water on there why would they blow up the moon and waste so much water for space travel thats a major resourse. Also the moon's been for a long. Theres always a reason in why things are there.

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  4. Seriously, all the nukes in China (or the entire world) would barely make a scratch. And even if you could "blow up" the moon, all the bits and pieces would simply fall back together into a new moon. You can't eliminate the moon's mass, therefore you can't change the tides, etc. Only the ignorant would believe this article is serious.

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  5. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I hope everyone realizes that GOD created the moon and it will be him and only him that destroys it!

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  6. That is the most stupid thing to even suggest, leave alone the destroying part. I would say, "do not mess up with the natural order of things."

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  7. Grow up, people. First: this is the Weekly World News who is spewing this garbage, not any reputable paper. Second: even if this were attempted, there is not enough nuclear material on Earth to "do the job". Third: Earth would be destroyed by the resultant debris that would rain down on our planet like super-sized, deadly hail. Fourth: the "scientific understanding" the writers employed by the WWN possesscan be demonstrated thusly—in a story about 25 yrs age, they reported that "Russisn scientists" received a 50,000 yr old message that originated from a point more than 2,000,000 light years away……. Does anyone else see the faulty math involved???? There is a reason light years are called LIGHT YEARS!!!! (For those without a clue, a light year is roughly 6 trillion miles long and it takes light a year to travel that distance; i.e. light year. And, according to Einstien's general theory of relativity, nothing—N-O-T-H-I-N-G!—can travel faster than the speed of light.)

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  8. LMFAO. blow up the moon and destroy the balance that it has on the earth eg: Ocean Tides. also the moon wont be there to continue taking hits from Space objects for us. i say China give it ur best shot. not that china would blow up the moon cos they are not stupid enough. everyone knows how the moon plays a Very large part of earths existence… Jeeze

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  9. doesn't the moon get bombarded by many things due the lack of an atmosphere? wouldnt there have been a big meteor that would mimick a huge explosion that the chinese would intend to send to the moon?

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  10. maybe finally Michael Jackson will be able to rest in peace…without the moon he wont be break dancing over it anymore. Very thoughtful of China.

    Reply

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