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I’m madder than a snake at a mongoose convention! The Teleprompter Kid just can’t stop saying sorry! It was bad enough when he went all over Europe, and was bowing and scraping to all the ingrates we saved from the Nazis and the Commies.

But then he went to all those countries underneath Mexico and did the same thing. But why? Before we came along, the people down there were cutting each other’s hearts out and riding around on donkeys. Today we buy their oil and bananas and jumping beans instead of just stealing the stuff like we used to, but they’re still not happy.

You’d think they’d like Obama, since they’re all commies down there, too. But no: he got an earful from that big fat dummy Chavez. Old Hugo looks like a third rate boxer who took one too many hits to the head. It would be like us having Mike Tyson for president.

Hugo gave Obama a book, which surprised me, cuz I thought they just wrote everything on corn husks down there. The book is all about how wonderful communism is, so Obama will really like it.

I’m still mixed up about the whole pirate thing. If George Bush ordered the Navy to kill three African teenagers, wouldn’t Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson be screaming about it? Wouldn’t Oprah have their parents on, saying they were good kids who got good grades and their boat got pulled over for nothing? Shouldn’t Spike Lee be making a movie about this pirate thing?

Heck, if four years of Obama means four years without that Louis Faragone guy on my TV, I can live with that!