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So everyone’s picking on that Bill Maher TV guy for saying he doesn’t like vaccinations! I always thought he could use a rabies shot, but now old Ed thinks he may be onto something this time.

I never did get how injecting you with a disease was supposed to keep you healthy!

And who knows where they get this stuff. This is the government we’re talking about! For all we know, they’re squirting us full of alien juice and surplus cheese.

Besides, just take a look around: ever since they started giving kids those needles, they’ve been acting crazy if you ask me. In my day, kids were normal, not these crybaby, helmet-wearing, peanut-hating namby pamby pansies we got now, with their video games and baggy pants.

So maybe the government’s injected them full of pansy juice or something and that’s why they’re all so wimpy. It’s all part of their secret plan to make us into government robot slaves, just like when they put that stuff in the water for our teeth.

If that stuff in the water helps your teeth, how come we still need dentists? To put the computer parts in your molars, that’s what!

For all we know, those vaccinations are putting little computer parts in our arms, too, so the tax man can always track us down. With a Communist in the White House, anything can happen.

I’m gonna take my chances with this pig flu and everything else and stay away from all these needles.

That’ll fix ‘em. The “right to bear arms” doesn’t mean “roll up your sleeves”! I won’t be your robot slave, Teleprompter Kid!