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AUGUST METEOR SHOWER WORTH WEIGHT IN OIL


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SCRUFFE, VT – When 55 year-old Sydney Hale bought his house, the Realtor explained that there was a reason that the price was just 55K.

“She told me that the field at the edge of my property was the site of a meteor shower,” said Hale. “Unlike the Perseids and the Leonids, these so-called ‘Scruffids’ were a weekly occurrence.

The Realtor assured him that the house has never been struck, but that the lights and the noise could be startling.

“Heck, I did two tours of duty in ‘Nam, so flashes and explosions wasn’t gonna bother me,” said the carpenter and survivalist. “I was just looking for something cheap and private.

After three weeks of feeling the house shake and watching the sky turn orange, Hale decided to visit the field.

“I figured maybe I could collect a few rocks as souvenirs or sell ‘em on eBay.” He added, “I waited till after they stopped fallin’, of course. Them buggers fall from space. They’re really crankin’.”

When Hale reached the sight, he was surprised the find the iron-like fragments still red-hot.

He said, “These rocks retained a lot of heat. I realized I could use them to my advantage.” Hale collected the scalding meteories with a shovel, dumped them in the back of his pickup truck, and brought them home. “It gets really cold here in the winter time, and with the price of home heating oil, it costs a fortune to keep the house warm,” said Hale.

He put the rocks in his fireplace, and found that not only did the rocks stay warm, but the glowing rocks provided a great deal of light!

“These rocks go dim after six days, but that don’t matter,” he said. “There’s always a new batch coming to keep me warm.”

Hale also used the rock’s power for the water heater — “I may be the first guy to take a ‘meator shower’,” he joked — and found that using the rocks for barbecue gave meals some extra zing.

“It must be all these cosmic rays,” he says. “As long as they don’t turn me into the Fantastic Burger Man or Captain Weenie, I’m cool with it.”