Be prepared when the undead arrive!

When they come, there will be lots of them and they have appetites incapable of being spoiled. Worse, we remaining humans will find ourselves bereft of all reliable resources for our survival. You’ll need all the help you can get. Luckily, a forward-thinking fellow named Jeff at doejo.com has got you covered and put together a zombie survival map with locations of all the necessities you need to survive on a zombified planet.

Using Google Maps API, Map of the Dead displays a color-coded key of all of the necessary locations you need to know about in order to survive in a world of zombies. Everything from military resources and cemeteries to pharmacies and liquor stores are included in the map so you’ll be able to find the closest supplier for your needs whenever you run out of something.

The map identifies danger zones, which are described as areas having a high risk of zombie infestation due to the presence of man-made structures. If you’re to go by what the map tells you, zombies are a cosmopolitan class of monsters who only want to hang out in well-developed cities. As you can see below, if you cross the river over into that charcoal-colored area of wilderness on the map you’ll be safely beyond the reach of the zombies’ clutches. However, all of the resources you need are still on the zombie side of the river, so… pack up before you go, I guess?

Cleverly, you can also download a copy to print off and store away in a safe place because, really, if the zombie uprising jumps off, do you think they’re going to provide very reliable IT support? No, but at least you’ll have your trusty map.

As things go, it appears that Central and South America as well as most of Asia and Africa will be largely unaffected by the zombie populations, so in lieu of risking your life and fighting off the legions of undead, you could always just put some money aside and jet down there at the first sign of trouble. Canada, oddly enough, seems to be of no regard to zombies as the country appears to be zombie-free. Cuba, however, seems to have a zombie problem, which figures – will there ever be a time when it’s okay for Americans to safely travel to Cuba again?

Here’s the handy “Map of the Dead” site, plug-in your coordinates, and let it show you a color-coded key of all of the locations you’ll need to know about in order to survive the next several days.

The Russians have developed mind-bending ‘psychotronic’ guns that can effectively turn people into zombies.

And Vladimir Putin loves them!!

The futuristic weapons – which will attack the central nervous system of their victims – are being developed by the country’s scientists.

They could be used against Russia’s enemies and, perhaps, its own dissidents by the end of the decade.

Mr Putin added: “Such high-tech weapons systems will be comparable in effect to nuclear weapons, but will be more acceptable in terms of political and military ideology.”

Plans to introduce the super- weapons were announced quietly last week by Russian defence minister Anatoly Serdyukov, fulfilling  a little-noticed election campaign pledge by president-elect Putin.

Mr Serdyukov said: ‘The development  of weaponry based on new physics principles – direct-energy weapons, geophysical weapons, wave-energy weapons, genetic weapons, psychotronic weapons, and so on – is part  of the state arms procurement programme for 2011-2020.’

Specific proposals on developing the weapons are due to be drawn  up before December by a new Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency.

Research into electromagnetic weapons has been secretly carried out in the US and Russia since the Fifties. But now it appears Mr Putin has stolen a march on the Americans. Precise details of the Russian gun have not been revealed. However, previous research has shown that low-frequency waves or beams can affect brain cells, alter psychological states and make it possible to transmit suggestions and commands directly into someone’s thought processes.

High doses of microwaves can damage the functioning of internal organs, control behaviour or even drive victims to suicide. Anatoly Tsyganok, head of the Military Forecasting Centre in Moscow, said: ‘This is a highly serious weapon.

‘When it was used for dispersing a crowd and it was focused on a man, his body temperature went up immediately as if he was thrown into a hot frying pan. Still, we know very little about this weapon and even special forces guys can hardly cope with it.’

The long-term effects are not known, but two years ago a former major in the Russian foreign intelligence agency, the GRU, died in Scotland after making claims about such a weapons programme to MI6.

Sergei Serykh, 43, claimed he was a victim of weapons which he said were ‘many times more powerful than in the Matrix films’.

Mr Serykh died after falling from a Glasgow tower block with his wife and stepson in March 2010. While his death was assumed to be suicide, his family fear there was foul play.

The Ministry of Defence declined to comment.

Christopher Leake, Will Stewart
Daily Mail 

10,000 Mexican “undead”  walked through the streets of Mexico City looking for brains to eat.

At first they thought it was just Mexicans trying to have some fun, trying to break the Guinness World Record for the largest zombie gathering, but then something odd happened – REAL zombies showed up.

Last year, a group in Brisbane, Australia, set the record fot the most zombies at one gathering:  8,000.

So, Mexicans thought they could beat it.  9,000 Mexicans showed up dressed as Zombies, but were soon attacked by over 2,000 REAL zombies, that killed over 355 of the costumed zombies.

“That is the danger of such dress-up games,” said Mexico City Police Chief, Diego Marquez.  ”Zombies are real and when the people dress up, it just aggravates the real zombies and we have the tragedy that unfold last weekend.  It is a very sad day for Mexico.”

Most of the people attacked were young men and women.   Typically a victim would be surrounded by four or five REAL zombies and then they would snap the neck of the victim and then eat the victim’s brains.  Two hours later the victim would join the other zombies and attack more people.

“It is not a game.  We have many zombies in Mexico City and we’ve done our best to contain them.  But now… it is out of control,” said Marquez.

Some cultural observers believe the phenomenon could be linked to the ongoing global economic crisis, or is perhaps a reaction to consumerist ideals.

Drug gangs also took advantage of the “Day of the Dead”  and went on shooting rampages throughout Mexico City.

IOWA – Lehigh’s Oak Grove Cemetery has turned into the Night of the Living Dead!

An Iowa man, and his wife went to visiteher relatives in Lehigh’s  Oak Grove Cemetery and found find herself stepping onto the set of a horror film.  “There were Zombies everywhere. They were coming out of the ground!” said Laura Wilcox of Des Moines.

The Wilcox family made a run for their car, but Dan Wilcox didn’t fell on the way to the car.  Laura took off without him.  “I didn’t know what to do, there were Zombies surrounding my car,”  Wilcox told WWN through tears.  She plans to return to the cemetery later today with local authorities.

“The graveyard’s resemblance to “Night Of The Living Dead”  began two years ago when caretakers have noticed a serious erosion problem. In 2009, heavy rains washed away the wall supporting part of the cemetery, leaving misplaced gravestones, bones, and coffins littered along the property.

“The whole hillside just dropped into the ravine, and there’s nothing nobody can do about it,”  James Woodmere, a township trustee, told WWN. “The whole hillside just slid.”

Woodmere  says that he and the other trustees “don’t want a situation like this,” but the protocol for moving the deceased isn’t exactly cut and dry. Any relocating of a gravesite requires “cause of death, date of death, and next of kin,” according to Woodmere. With the cemetery in shambles and many of the headstones worn over the course of a century, finding that information is almost like catching a ghost.

Well, ghosts aren’t the problem now… zombies are.  Iowa authorities estimate that there could be as many as three hundred Oak Grove Zombies roaming the Iowa countryside.

“We have alerted all communities in the surrounding area about the zombies, and hope that residents take precautions to protect themselves,”  said Sheriff Dale Hippin.

“Protect ourselves?!  I’m getting the hell out of here,” said Martha Collins of Lehigh.  “How do you defend yourself against zombies?”

President Obama has sent a Marine division to Iowa along with top U.N. zombie experts.  “I’m confident we can control this outbreak,” Obama told reporters on Air Force One.

Let’s hope so…

NEW YORK – The undead joined the protests on Wall Street.  900 zombies were arrested, but they ate themselves out of jail.

Throughout history Zombies have joined revolutions to help overthrow bad governments.

“Zombies usually lead the way in revolutions.  Maximilien de Robespierre is often given credit for leading the French Revolution but actually Jean-Pierre Pascal, a zombie, led the charge by organizing all the French zombies in an uprising,” said Zombie expert Tad Jurgenson of Brooklyn, New York.

Zombies have been socially and politically active over the last five centuries.  Many zombie experts credit them for ending World War II, ending slavery and for putting an end to the reign of Genghis Khan.

Meanwhile, Occupy Wall Street protests are popping up in other cities across the world.  Zombies are standing strong with the demonstrator in Boston, Atlanta, Denver, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Boise.

Of course, Zombies have to eat and some “normal” protesters have to be eaten and sacrificed to keep the Zombies up and active, but “it’s a small price to pay to have the support of Zombies,” said Michael  Moore, a long time Zombie supporter.

More than 150,000 Zombies have agreed to march on the London Stock Exchange on Saturday, October 15.

Thank God for Zombies…

IRELAND – Archaeologists in Ireland unearthed two 8th-century skeletons buried with stones stuck into their mouths. Proof of Medieval zombies.

The stones were placed in their mouths so that they wouldn’t “rise” up.   Historians have long believe that zombies roamed the earth in Medieval Times and this is now proof of that fact.

Bodies identified as revenants or the “walking dead” tended to be people who had lived as outsiders.

SAVANNAH, GA – Zombie experts from across the world are predicting an uprising of Zombies in May of next year.

Zombie researchers at the University of Georgia, Princeton University and the University of Notre Dame wrote a paper entitled, “The Zombie Revolution” early this year and presented to the U.N. Panel on Zombies just a few weeks ago.

In the paper the top Zombie researchers in the country say that the climate, the economic downturn, rise of digital technology and the “dumbing down” of society are all contributing to an unrest among Zombies.

The unrest has been building for ten years.  Many experts from many different organizations, including the CDC, have already predicted a Zombie Apocalypse, but researchers say that it will be more of an “uprising” or “revolution”.

“Zombies want to overturn the current way of life in America,” said Professor Joseph Bunstrov of Princeton University.  “Zombies see a decline in ethics, morals, and a general decline in “common sense.”  In the past, when Zombies have risen up – most notably in the 1936 and 1974 – they have tried to stir the general population into some sort of action to reverse a particular cultural course in America.”

Bunstrov went on to say that the Zombie Revolution predicted for 2012 has the potential to be ten times as large as any in the past.  “No community in America will be spared,”  Bunstrov warned. “Zombies have become more sophisticated over the years.  They are now capable of taking advantage of technology – thought they strongly oppose it.  Zombies have better communication between the different Zombie Tribes.  It will be a massive revolution.”

So what cities do researchers predict will affected the most?

“It’s hard to say right now,” said Bunstrov.   “In a few months we will have a clearer picture.  Washington DC seems to be a city we mentioned frequently in the communications we have intercepted recently.  But for some odd reason, Buffalo, New York is also mentioned – as is Austin, Texas.”

There are multiple militia groups forming to prepare to fight the Zombies next May.  “We gotta be prepared for these monsters,” said Dale Carson of Grand Rapids, MI.  “Zombies will not get me and my family.  You can bet on that.”

We sure do hope so, Dale.

WWN will be following this story closely.  In the meantime, here’s a helpful video:

NEW YORK – The ghost of Princess Di appeared on the cover of Newsweek.

Tina Brown appeared on “Morning Joe”  to discuss how the ghost of Princess Diana appeared on the of Newsweek.

Brown and the magazine have been taking fire from all sides for taking a picture of Diana’s Ghost, who has been spotted hundreds of times since her untimely death.

A Newsweek photographer was in the “right time, right place” when the Ghost of Princess Di appeared walking next to Kate Middleton.

Newsweek readers have passionately and relentlessly expressed their discontent on Facebook and in comments sections around the web.

BUT, Tina Brown, told the Morning Joe audience that the photograph was “not a digital manipulation” as many assumed.  “This is a real picture, our photographer captured a picture of Di’s ghost. This is conclusive proof of what many have thought for years – Di is still walking among us, as a ghost.”

Many think it is a hoax, especially because Diana would have just turned 50 years old.  But Brown said that Dian’s ghost has been spotted a lot more recently – and that’s not Newsweek‘s doing.  “Diana seems to be making more ‘appearances’ now that she’s turned 50.  And we were lucky enough to capture one such appearance.”

Kate Middleton has confirmed that she has seen Princess Di’s ghost “many times.”  She said that she even thought she saw Princess Di on her wedding night.  “You would think that would be creepy.  But she was lovely.  She just watched William.  I think she even gave him some tips.  And I think they worked – it was the best night of my life.”

Princess Di’s Ghost has been spotted mainly in England, but in the last few months she has been seen across America – and sometimes she is with Michael Jackson.

Stay tuned…

RIO DE JANEIRO – Zombies have overrun the city after zombie ants infected humans.

Ophiocordycps unilateralis once thought to be a brain-manipulating fungus that only affects the minds of ants is now known to affect the minds of humans as well.

The mind altering fungus can remain dormant in the fire ants and black ants for as little as a few hours but may remain dormant in carpenter ants for as much as several weeks before it begins to take over the mind of the ant. Below is an image of a zombie ant.

Due to the deforestation of the Brazilian Rainforest many creatures, including ants, have begun infiltrating the cities of Brazil in hopes of finding a new habitat.  Several carpenter ants made their way to Rio de Janeiro in hopes of building new colonies within the wooden structures of the city. Many made it to the city just before Carnival began and, unfortunately, just before they fell under the influence of the mind controlling fungus.

As Carnival fired up the zombie ants began to wander aimlessly throughout the city being stepped on left and right. On any other day of the week no one would have even noticed or paid any attention to the dead ants on the streets of Rio. But some unfortunate drunk souls decided to eat some of the dead and some of the live ants allowing the fungus to take control of their minds. These human zombies then began attacking other humans during the festivities causing a massive outbreak. But much of the attacks went unnoticed due to the fact the Carnival can get “pretty f’ing crazy.” Below is a picture of a woman who was discovered to be a zombie.

Additionally, most zombies were not noticed until many days after Carnival had ended since most everyone appeared like the walking dead due to their massive hangovers.  Due to the multiple day hangovers caused by Carnival, it has yet to be confirmed how quickly the fungus affects humans.

Brazilian authorities have put the entire country on red alert warning all their citizens to be aware of anyone that may appear intoxicated as this could be the first signs of infection. They have also asked all citizens that if they see any ants anywhere to step on them and immediately burn the bodies with a magnifying glasses.

To help protect yourself, your loved ones and your home, please read 10 Ways To Protect Your Home From Zombies if you want to survive this outbreak.

Worried about Zombies coming into your house?  Here are 10 simple ways to stay safe!

With smash hit zombie shows such as AMC’s The Walking Dead and soon to be cult films like Dead Snow, many are beginning to wonder “What do I need to do to protect my family and home from zombies?” Well look no further, here are 10 simple ways to help you prepare for a zombie attack and create a zombie proof home.

1. Build your home in a remote area: on a mountain, in the woods, in the desert or on the moon like MJ did. Zombies concentrate in areas with large human populations since human flesh is their source of sentience, so living in a remote area with few inhabitants with increase your chances of survival.
2. Tall Fences:  Building a tall smooth surfaced fence will prevent zombies from entering your property. Muscle tissue deteriorates in the transformation process rendering zombies incapable of scaling walls.
3. Pit traps: Dig several large holes in the ground and cover them with big tree branches and leaves. If a zombie finds a way to breach your perimeter, the pit trap will provide the same defense as the tall fence.
4. Build all doors out of solid wood or metal: Zombies do not have a great deal of strength due to the muscle deterioration as mentioned above. The strength of a zombie will be no match against a well enforced door. Windows should also be reinforced in the event of a zombie invasion.
5. Well water vs. public water: Have a well on your property, in the event of a zombie outbreak you cannot rely on public water supply. The workers at your local water treatment facility might be zombies and everyone knows that zombies have absolutely no work ethic.
6. Generators and fuel: Knowing the work ethics of zombies, or lack there of, it is best to have a generator at your residence in order to maintain your preferred quality of life. A hearty supply of fuel will be needed as well to insure continued use of your generator.
7. Sound diversions: Zombies have an acute sense of hearing. If your property is large enough, install speakers at the perimeter of your property. If a perimeter breech occurs play loud sounds to lure the zombies away from your home and loved ones. Your generator will come in handy here.
8. Weapons: If you find that you have no other choice but to fight, a sharp long machete or a scythe are good weapons of choice as you will be able to maintain a distance whilst decapitating your undead assailants.
9. Own a mobile home: The best way to evade a zombie attack is to constantly be on the move. A mobile home is a good option as it allows you to flee from an attack of the undead without sacrificing the comforts of home.
10. If you can’t beat them, join them: You might end up eating your first born but at least you won’t have to pay for their college tuition.