MIAMI, FL – One of the first cases that will come before new Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is a discrimination suit.

TOKYO – A group of Japanese children are convinced a zombie is attacking their home… so they fight back!

AMSTERDAM – Accident victim Godfried Lansing was declared dead and lay in a morgue for 48 spine-chilling hours before suddenly bouncing back to life.

AUSTIN, TX – A group of brave citizens hijacked a roadside sign to warn of a possible zombie outbreak!

“The town was filled with zombies, and the Jenkins needed their barn raised. Seemed like the natural thing to do.”

After years of being hounded by conspiracy theorists and journalists from alternative publications, reporter Michael “Skipper” Entwistle finally got Margaret Thatcher to admit she is a zombie.