JETER CHANGES MIND, JOINS RED SOX

NEW YORK – An anonymous donor offered Derek Jeter $100 million to ditch his new Yankee deal and join the Red Sox.   Jeter agreed.

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STEINBRENNER DIES, COSTANZA ARRESTED

George Steinbrenner, a towering figure in the sports world, died Tuesday morning in Tampa.  George Costanza was arrested soon after in a nearby coffee shop.

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MICHAEL JACKSON WAS TO BUY YANKEES?

BRONX, NY – It was reported that Michael Jackson was to trade in his famed sequined glove for a baseball mitt. The late eccentric millionaire was to buy the Yankee franchise — so he could play center field.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ ADMITS STEROID USE

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NEW YORK, NY – Alex Rodriguez has admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs, and all the angels in the heavens above have wept as one.

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