NEW YORK — After Derek Jeter reached the 3,000 hit mark, he was traded to the New York Mets.

NEW YORK – An anonymous donor offered Derek Jeter $100 million to ditch his new Yankee deal and join the Red Sox. Jeter agreed.

ARLINGTON, TX – Texas Ranger slugger Josh Hamilton announced he will join the priesthood after the World Series.

SAN DIEGO – The Padres, two games out in the wild card race, decided to sell their souls to the devil.

George Steinbrenner, a towering figure in the sports world, died Tuesday morning in Tampa. George Costanza was arrested soon after in a nearby coffee shop.

PHILADELPHIA, PA – The New York Yankees have attributed their Halloween win to Bat Boy.

BRONX, NY – It was reported that Michael Jackson was to trade in his famed sequined glove for a baseball mitt. The late eccentric millionaire was to buy the Yankee franchise — so he could play center field.

NEW YORK, NY – Alex Rodriguez has admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs, and all the angels in the heavens above have wept as one.

Exclusive information reveals that Alex Rodriguez, Yankees player and rumored lover of Madonna, is actually Madonna’s son!