WOODLAND, UK -  An tiny village is the latest community to be hit by the phenomenon known as “the hum”.

Residents of Woodland, in County Durham, claim that every night a noise permeates the air similar to the throb of a car engine.

It is sometimes so strong that it even shakes the bed of one of the householders.  It causes residents to act in overly sexual ways and it makes residents who here it much smarter.

No matter how hard they look, the community cannot find the source of the problem and, at their wits end, have called in the council to investigate.

The 300-strong population is the latest around the world to be hit by the rumble which has in the past led to wild conspiracy theories blaming it on UFOs, government experiments and abandoned mine shafts.

It is so widespread that it has even featured on the television show The X Files.

Its most famous occurrence was in Bristol in the 1970s when more than a thousand people complained of the consistent drone causing nosebleeds, sleeplessness and headaches.
It vanished as mysteriously as it arrived and was never explained.

Residents of Woodland, a community consisting of one main street surrounded by farmland, claims their version of “the hum” is constant from midnight until 11am every night (day) and stops them sleeping.

There are no pylons, factories or abandoned mines nearby.

The noise started about two months ago and has been plaguing the isolated village every day since.

Marylin Grech, 57, a retired store detective, said: “In certain areas of the house you can hear it more loudly. It is definitely from outside, it’s in the air, all around, very faint.  “I don’t mind it though, it’s improved my sex life with my wife dramatically.”

“It vibrates through the house. We’ve turned all the electricity off in the house and we can still hear it, so it’s not that.

“Sometimes we’ll be in bed and it vibrates right through our bed, like a throbbing.”   This “throbbing” seems to stimulate the sexual organs.

“It’s not tinnitus, that’s a high-pitched sound and this is very low. If I put my fingers in my ears it stops, so I know it’s not in my head.

“At 4am it’s so clear, because we live in such an isolated place with no traffic, it’s heaven.”But it leaves a buzzing in your head for the rest of the day.”

Gary Hutchinson, an environmental protection manager at Durham County Council, said: “I can confirm that we received a call regarding a humming sound in the Woodland area earlier on June 1 and we will now make further enquiries before deciding what action we will take.”

LOS ANGELES – David Duchovny wants to make a third X-Files movie and wants to take it in a new direction. The X-Files is going gay!

After making statements last year revealing that he would “go gay” for Woody Allen or any of the stars of Twilight, Duchovny has pitched his idea to X-Files director Chris Carter and co-star Gillian Anderson.

Duchovny wants to continue the basic story structure of the television series and previous films, but spice it up a bit. “It needs to move forward, get current, and get gay! Forget sci-fi! It’s all about bi-fi, baby!”

“All the decent television these days is centered on controversial situations. Weeds? Big Love? Even Californication. Agent Fox Mulder is smart and fresh. He stays on top of things. It makes perfect sense. Not to mention, his name is Fox. He’s practically begging for controversy!”

Duchovny continued, “You know, the last time around the X-Files film didn’t do very well in theaters. I love this franchise and I’ve given our next move a lot of thought. We all know my history, so it should come as no surprise. I’d like to sex things up!”

Duchovny was quick to deflect questions about how this new spin on the X-Files story would play out. “I don’t want to get into specifics just yet. Let’s just say that there is a new sheriff in town, and his pants are tight and his gun is cocked.”

It is still unclear at this time how the change would affect Gillian Anderson’s character, Agent Dana Scully. Rumors circulated during the airing of the original series that Scully may have gay tendencies, but she never openly explored any lesbian relationships. According to Duchovny, Agent Scully is due for a little experimentation.

LONDON – Researchers believed a five-fold increase in UFO sightings in 1996 was due to the screening of TV series “The X-Files”.

As part of a project between the Ministry of Defense and The National Archives, the MoD has been releasing records of UFO sightings for public viewing.

While the sightings didn’t vary much in content, researchers are paying attention to the numbers. In 1996, the number of sightings jumped from 117 to 609, a five-fold increase!

The number remained high in 1997, at 425, but dropped down to the average number of 193 in 1998.

It is believed there may be a link between the increase in sightings and the population’s exposure to UFO theories through the TV series “The X-Files”, which reached it’s height in popularity in 1996.

Dr. David Clarke, a UFO expert and lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University, said, “I think there has got to be some kind of connection – it was a year when people were absolutely obsessed with UFOs and aliens.

“Obviously, films and TV programs raise public awareness of UFOs and it’s fascinating to see how that appears to lead more people to report what they see to the authorities.”