NEW YORK, NY – David Letterman has come forward and admitted another affair, with the World’s Fattest Cat.

Letterman is currently at the heart of a scandal involving attempted blackmail.  David Letterman has come forward admitting to an affair in the late 90′s with Tonya the Worlds Fattest Cat.  Weekly World News has uncovered photos and details of their illicit affair.

The two met on Letterman’s show when Tonya was bringing several of her old ladies to do a Stupid Human Tricks segment.  The two hit it off backstage and began their illicit affair.  Due to the inter-species nature of their relationship they kept it a secret.  After tapings of his show, the two would meet for dinner around New York City. According to sources they would often go to a place in Chinatown that offered “all you can eat dumplings.”  Once they had finished a typically 6 hour romantic dinner, sources say they would make passionate love in the back of Letterman’s limousine.

With news becoming public recently David Letterman admitted publicly his affairs over the years.  Most shocking and unexpected was his affair with the World’s Fattest Cat.  Said Letterman of the incident “I’m not proud of what I did, but I don’t regret a moment of it.”

Tonya and her lawyers are in talks with the Lifetime Channel to have the story turned into a TV movie.

]]> http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/12344/david-letterman-affair/feed/ 5 Reginald Cunningham III david_lettermans_mistress http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/7746/forever-21-plus-size-line/ http://weeklyworldnews.com/mutants/7746/forever-21-plus-size-line/#comments Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:37:54 +0000 Samuel T. Westbrook http://weeklyworldnews.com/?p=7746 ]]>

NEW YORK, NY – Fashion retailer Forever 21 debuted a new line of clothing for plus-sized women, along with the lines’ special consultant: Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat!

Forever 21, known throughout the fashion world for its high style at low prices, decided to expand its repertoire into the plus sized market after being contacted by Tonya herself.

“We are rather ashamed to admit that we never really considered plus-sizes before,” Forever 21 founder Do-Won Chang told reporters at following a runway show of the line.  “When we started the company in the 80′s, everyone was only making fashionable clothing for skinny people.  We didn’t think heavier people were interested in looking good.”

“Tonya showed us the error of our thinking.  And now, I would like to introduce to you, Forever 21′s plus-sized line – Faith 21!”

Always a fan of high fashion, and a trendsetter in the fashion world herself, Tonya was reportedly disappointed at not being able to fit into a leopard print cardigan with matching skort she saw at the Union Square location of Forever 21 while on a shopping spree for Spring fashions.

“Tonya loves a good cardigan-skort combo,” said her spokeswoman at the debut event.  “She was heartbroken when she realized there wasn’t a single plus-sized item in the entire store.”

“She immediately abandoned the rest of the shopping itinerary and dictated a strong-worded e-mail of disappointment to Forever 21.”

The letter must have struck a chord within Forever 21 because within a matter of days, Susan De La Fontaine Delacroix, head designer and visionary for the company, personally contacted Tonya.

“Her letter was very inspiring, not only emotionally but creatively,” Delacroix told the crowd prior to the runway show.  “I immediately started sketching, designing, and sewing.  Many of those initial creations you are about to see today.”

“That was the first step, the next was to get Tonya on board.  She was already my muse, but I needed her to be the face of Faith 21.”

Delacroix is so confidant in Tonya’s ability as the line’s exclusive spokeswoman, she believes the fashion world is about to be turned on its head.

“These clothes are so hot, and Tonya is so hot in these clothes, I know that skinny girls are going to try to put on some extra pounds so they can fit into Faith 21.  Because Faith 21 is exclusive.  We are not making mini-versions for the regular line, and not just making jumbo versions of the regular Forever 21 line for Faith 21.  Its completely different.”

“Mark my words.  By this time next year, every model walking down the runway will be Tonya-sized.”

CHICAGO, IL – In the latest issue of O Magazine, Oprah reveals that during years of struggling with rollercoaster weight gain/loss she had one consistent shoulder to lean on – Tonya’s!

As one of the most powerful women in the world and the most influential woman in American media and culture, Oprah’s battle with her weight has always been public on her show and in her magazine.

For the first time, Oprah reveals that Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat, has been her behind-the-scenes support force all these years.

“People think that having a successful TV show and magazine means that you feel successful and are a happy person,” Oprah says in the article.  It’s not that simple.  Food is my Achilles’ heel and weight gain is my punishment.”

“Without Tonya by my side, I don’t know how I would have gotten through it all.  There were times when I wanted to fall off the wagon, I had lost 40 or 50 pounds and just wanted to eat a Twinkie.  10 Twinkies, actually.  Would Tonya let me eat those 10 Twinkies?  No, she wouldn’t.  She ate them herself.  Not because she’s fat.  Because that’s what a friend does.  They eat the Twinkie so you don’t.”

The article also reveals for the first time information regarding the years-long disappearance of Tonya in the late 1990s.

Oprah says, “Tonya supports me because she knows what its like to fluctuate dramatically in her weight.  She went on a diet once that resulted in her losing hundreds of pounds very quickly, making her look like just another normal house cat.  In her shame, she went into hiding and spent years binging to get her weight back up.”

“It was very hard on her, but I was there for her, feeding her my Twinkies, both real and metaphorically.”

PHILADELPHIA, PA – Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of the hit reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, have added one supersized mouth to their family this holiday season: Tonya!

The parents of eight children, 7-year-old twin girls and 4 year-old sextuplets, caved to the increasing pressure of their children to adopt a pet.  Originally expecting to get a medium to large sized dog, the Gosselin’s changed their plans after being introduced to Tonya at a summit for reality TV show stars.

“Jon looked over and saw Tonya being interviewed by at least 6 different reporters at one time,” Kate said in a press release, “he immediately knew that if she could handle that many members of the press, she could totally deal with eight screaming, grabby children.”

When asked about their decision to adopt a giant cat instead of a dog, Jon told reporters, “We hadn’t considered a cat originally.  Size was very important to us.  Having eight kids, we knew we wanted an animal that all of them could pay attention to at the same time.  The problem with a cat or rabbit or small dog is that only one kid could hold it or pet it.  With Tonya, that isn’t going to be a problem.  When she lays on her back, all six of the little kids can lay on Tonya with room to spare.”

Longtime fans of Tonya’s who have followed her recent performances on Top Chef and Biggest Loser, were surprised to hear that she is taking a break from reality competitions to guest star on the much tamer TLC show.

Through her spokesperson, Tonya responded, “If you have ever seen the program, you know that Kate knows how to cook big meals.  And we all know Tonya loves big meals.  She also loves a challenge.  And being manhandled by 16 little sticky hands just might be the most challenging thing Tonya has ever done.”

Rumors that Tonya is actually only interested in eating the young Gosselin children have been widely disputed.  Both Tonya’s representation and TLC have promised defamation of character lawsuits to “anyone who continues to spread such vile accusations.”

STAMFORD, CT – Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat, debuted a new entrée just in time for Thanksgiving. Tonya co-hosted the Martha Stewart Thanksgiving Special with the world-renowned homemaker and chef earlier this week, and made a culinary surprise.

Turbaconducken, the next stage in entrée meat fusion, combines the Thanksgiving favorite turducken with delicious bacon.  Turducken, a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey is then wrapped entirely in bacon.

“Up until yesterday, I thought turducken was the perfect Thanksgiving entrée,” Stewart said during the program.  “It just goes to show that even after being a homemaker for over 50 years, a fat cat can still teach this old dog new tricks.”

Samples of the turbaconducken were a huge success with the audience members in attendance at the taping, although there was not much to go around.

Shortly after the turbaconducken came out of the oven, Tonya became noticeably agitated and excited.

“She began purring incessantly and rubbed her face against the counter top,” Producer Jason Grefth said.  “Before Martha could react and save the turbaconducken, Tonya unhinged her jaw and swallowed the 40 pound entrée whole.”

Producers managed to pull a bacon-covered leg from Tonya’s mouth before she had a chance to swallow.

Audience members fought over pieces of the drool-glazed, bacon encrusted leg.

NEW YORK, NY – Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat, continues her successful string of reality TV appearances by starring on the hit cooking competition show, Top Chef.

Now in its fifth season, the ratings giant moved to New York City, featuring 17 up-and-coming chefs from around the world.  Tonya is the only feline competitor.

“I was a little skeptical at first,” host and judge Padma Lakshmi said in the season’s first episode.  “But once I tried her Tuna Tartar on bed of baby mixed greens with a side of haricot vert with a light raspberry-garlic glaze, I was sold.  She is a big talent, so to speak.”

Viewers tuning in to see Tonya’s signature appetite have so far been disappointed.

“We were a little nervous about how Tonya might react in a kitchen full of the freshest meats and vegetables and some of the rarest spices in the world,” Lakshmi told fans on her blog.

The season has nearly completed filming, although only airing a few episodes so far, producers are mum about how far Tonya progresses in the competition.

“You’ll just have to keep tuning in.  I can promise you that eventually, the dramatics will match Tonya in size and girth.”

NEW YORK, NY – Despite her girth, the World’s Fattest Cat was able to sneak into the “Quantum of Solace” premiere in Manhattan.

Tonya, the World’s Fattest (and dare we say, most beloved) Cat, gate-crashed the American premiere of the new James Bond film, “Quantum of Solace”.

Publicists are still unsure how she got in, but she may have only used that famous charm. As any gossip column reader would know, many a security guard has fallen for her allure.

Tonya was even so bold as to sashay down the red carpet in a new custom-fitted ensemble! Her 300 pound heft makes it difficult for her to buy clothing, however, after her rise to C-level stardom through reality show appearances, designers are beginning to take notice.

The film’s star Daniel Craig also took notice, and soon sidled up for a chat. Unfortunately, Tonya coughed up the World’s Biggest Hairball onto his shoes. He merely smiled, wiped them on the red carpet, and took her paw to escort her into the theater. She’s still got it!