GRANTON, WI – A woman in Wisconsin called the police to report a drunk driver – herself!

Mary Strey, 49, called policed on the night of Halloween to report a drunk driver. As it turns out, Mary had been barhopping before heading home, and thought it would be best to report herself while she was still driving!

Listen to her well-intended call below:

ST. BART – Several eyewitnesses have confirmed reports that the legendary Creature from the Black Lagoon is on the loose in St. Bart!

The tropical island paradise in the heart of the Caribbean is currently under lockdown while authorities search the beaches and waterfront for the Creature.

The latest sighting comes from 5-year-old Caitlin McCord of Madison, Wisconsin.

“Caitlin came running up the beach screaming her little lungs out,” Caitlin’s father Michael told authorities.  “She said something came up outta the water and lumbered toward her.”

“We followed her down to the beach and there it was.  Through the mist we just saw its leathery skin.  It growled something in the guttural language of the deep.  Then we all ran.”

Stay tuned to the Weekly World News for streaming updates!