I’m madder than an armless guy at the slot machines!

I’m madder than a giraffe with tonsillitis!

LOS ANGELES – Bill Clinton returns to the US with freed North Korean prisoners. Weekly World News has acquired a transcript of his exchange with Kim Jong Il.

WASHINGTON, DC – First Lady Michelle Obama is going ahead with plans to change the color of the White House for the first time in history – by painting it green!

I’m madder than a diabetic in a Dairy Queen at that Glenn Beck guy!

My heart’s as broken as the Liberty Bell about saying goodbye to President Bush.

Last week, I visited the White House for a farewell lunch with the great man.

WASHINGTON, DC – A federal judge has ordered the emails of the Bush administration be surrendered to the courts, and Weekly World News has some!

WASHINGTON, DC – President-Elect Obama asserted influence this weekend, advising President Bush on which holiday choir to pick for the White House – and they’re aliens!

CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Obama’s Transition team announced today that the First Family to be has made a very important decision.

WASHINGTON, DC – On the eve of the most important presidential election in years, the Chaos Cloud has descended upon the nation’s capitol.