CHICAGO, IL – The University of Illinois at Chicago announced this morning that they have offered OJ Simpson an adjunct professorship in its prestigious Drama department.

I was as happy as Joe Biden at a Hair Club for Men conference to see Sarah Palin crush Joe Biden in the VP debate last week. Sarah had me at “Hey, can I call you Joe?” It didn’t help that Joe-Tox had a look of surprise frozen on his face from the Botox and his recent eyelift.