WASHINGTON, DC – A wild deer was attacked after jumping into a lion enclosure!

LOS ANGELES – Bill Clinton returns to the US with freed North Korean prisoners. Weekly World News has acquired a transcript of his exchange with Kim Jong Il.

WASHINGTON, DC – This weekend, former Vice President Dick Cheney said Rush Limbaugh was his model Republican.

I’m madder than a spitting camel at our new Communist-in-Chief!

WASHINGTON, DC – Passing by an huge majority, the House of Representatives set a new precedent in fiscal oversight: seizing executives’ pants and first-born child!

WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning response to the passing of Ricardo Montalban, Barack Obama has announced last-minute changes to his upcoming inauguration.

WASHINGTON, DC – Santa Claus has requested a $14 million federal bailout to avoid a crash which could cancel Christmas.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Bush’s unlucky week continued as another shoe wielding reporter attacked him at an intergalactic press junket.

CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama’s inauguration travel plans are harkening back to a time earlier than any had predicted.

WASHINGTON, DC – President-Elect Obama asserted influence this weekend, advising President Bush on which holiday choir to pick for the White House – and they’re aliens!