BALTIMORE – A bleach fight broke out in a Maryland Wal-Mart.

Authorities say Theresa Monique Jefferson, 33, and another woman threw bleach and another chemical on each other during the fight, prompting authorities to evacuate the store for two hours and call in a hazardous materials team.

Fire officials say 19 people had to be taken to hospitals, although only one was thought to have serious injuries.

The alleged fight took place in the Lansdowne Station Shopping Center in Baltimore.

According to the Baltimore Sun, the argument between Jefferson and the other woman went back before the store fight.

The paper reported Jefferson has a child with the victim’s boyfriend.

Speaking to the New York Daily News, a spokesman for Walmart said: ‘This is obviously not the type of behavior that we would expect from people at our stores.

CHATTANOOGA, TN – A husband-wife team of shoplifters at a Tennessee Walmart tried desperately to get out of their arrest!

Officer Josh Wright was off duty at a Walmart in Chattanooga, when he noticed a man trying to get by a store greeter while carrying about $2,000 in goods.

When Wright displayed his badge to the man that he suspected was shoplifting, the man told him the badge was fake and tried to get past him! He was then tackled and arrested.

His wife went a step further and faked a heart attack! She said she did not know the man, however a witness told Wright that the couple had been together in the store the whole time.

As the witness walked to the parking lot to leave, the wife followed her and attacked her!

However, the wife was the one who ended up being stabbed in the arm with a pocket knife, and was taken to a hospital for treatment.

The husband has been charged with theft over $1,000 and assault on a police officer. The wife’s charges are still pending.

KANSAS CITY, OK – With the economy still in recovery, Wal-Mart and other stores are using hypnosis to keep people buying!

Witnesses are reporting some of the most calm Black Friday shopping crowds in memory.  Docile masses have filled the stores and shopping malls of America today, and buying more than they have in years.  A new corporate policy involving hypnotism is believed to be the cause.

Hypnotic suggestions are being put into the muzak played at many stores around the country.  After a certain amount of time in the store customers become highly relaxed, as they fall into a state of hypnotic trance.  Soon shoppers are responding to the suggestions to remain calm, and keep buying.

“We felt this was our duty to America,” said Wal-Mart spokesman Herb Albert.  “People are still nervous to spend as much as they should on a day like today.  By helping people spend more, we’re giving our economy the shot in the arm it so desperately needs.”

Spending is up drastically today compared to recent years.  With the day not even done, overall spending is up 186% from 2008.  Urged by suggestion, lower and middle income families are making major purchases with credit cards and layaway in a trend that economists say could have no negative consequences.

“Whatever it takes to learn some manners,” said Elaine Buckberry, a 76 year old shopper from Chackatutchee, Tennessee.  “Last year I was getting knocked and pushed around so much, it was just horrible.  This year is so much better!  Everyone’s real quite and minding their own.  I just turn down my hearing aide when I walk in the store, go about my business, and that’s it!”

Shoppers wishing to refrain from being hypnotized are suggested to wear earplugs while out today, and to avoid muzak at all costs.

BENTONVILLE, AR – Wal-Mart has taken discount shopping to a new level, by offering funeral caskets!

Wal-Mart is the world’s largest chain of discount department stores. The storefronts offer a wide range of items and services, including guns, produce, pharmacies, tire changes, banks and even gas stations.

Therefore, it doesn’t come as a surprise that the company is now offering discounted caskets! Starting at only $895, there are 27 different models available on Wal-Mart’s online store.

All but one are under $2,000, and ship within 48 hours from Star Legacy Funeral Network, Inc., of McHenry, Illinois.

Check out some of the selection: