McLEAN, VA. – A Virginia woman was arrested for breastfeeding her one-month old son near the home of the G.O.P. Presidential hopeful.

NEW ORLEANS, LA – Parents can help a psychologist prove whether Santa Claus really exists by not buying presents for their kids this year!

NEW YORK CITY – An earthquake hit Manhattan this afternoon. Donald Trump’s hair didn’t move.

BOSTON – The same UFO that was seen over Virginia two days ago was seen over Boston last night!

CENTERVILLE, VA – A blue UFO was confirmed over Virginia last night!

NORFOLK, VA – A federal judge is attempting to preserve the largest collection of artifacts excavated from the Titanic remains, and one key person is on her side.

SMITHDALE, VA – Since their defeat on Election Day, Republicans have questioned what will be the new direction of their party.

AUSTIN, TX – On the campus of The University of Texas yesterday afternoon, Bat Boy registered to vote in the Lone Star State.

This marked the forty-eighth state in which the half-bat, half-boy national icon successfully registered to help the nation decide the next US President.