I’m madder than Howie Mandel with a rusty razor!

Yesterday, the Hair Club Vice President Joe Biden did it again. He said “we have to keep spending to avoid going bankrupt”!

Wow, even my wife isn’t that stupid about money!

I still say Biden’s hair plugs have done something to his brain, cuz he can’t stop saying stupid things. They should rename that Toy-lette’s Syndrome where you swear all the time after Biden!

Except that when Biden talks, I bet Obama’s the one who does the swearing.

At least, unlike his boss, Biden doesn’t need a Teleprompter to even open his mouth –although I bet folks at the White House wish he’d get one.

Maybe when Obama’s Teleprompter fell over and died this week, Biden was forced to give his to the Communist-in-Chief – it might be in the Constitution.

Boy, was that funny! I can’t believe Obama was able to keep going with his talk after his fancy machine broke. I thought something would happen like in Westworld, and sparks would start flying and Obama would finally show us he was really a space monster.

Anyway, the only person dumber than Biden is Sonia Sotomayor. She keeps getting words mixed up, and it doesn’t help that she talks in that phony Nurse Ratched voice. I kept thinking she was gonna get out of her chair and hand out little paper cups full of pills to the politicians!

But if Sonya is really Nurse Ratched, she won’t have to send Biden for a lobotomy – it’s too late!

I still can’t believe she’s gonna be on the Supreme Court. We’ve got dusty old houseplants around here than are smarter than her!

I’m madder than a double-entry bookkeeper with a single-entry wife about all this Tom Daschle craziness!

The guy resigned his big new job with Obama before it even started, all because he didn’t pay some taxes.

First off, someone gave Daschle a gift subscription to ‘Car & Driver’. So what? Who’d think to put that on their taxes?

More importantly, not paying taxes is as American as motherhood, apple pie and wearing pink sweatpants in public.

Why, our great nation was founded by men who didn’t pay their taxes. John Hancock didn’t just take up half a page signing his name. When a British big shot came on Hancock’s ship to collect taxes on his cargo of booze, Hancock locked the guy up in an empty cabin to avoid paying up.

Between Daschle, that Geithner fellow, Killefer and all the others, the Communist-in-Chief’s Cabinet are practically the signers of the Declaration of Independence! Who’d have thought the only one who wasn’t a crook would be Mrs. Hillary?

The big traitor in the White House these days is Biden. That crazy Hair Club Vice President says paying taxes is patriotic. That just proves his plugs have put down roots in his brain.

My fellow red, white and blue Americans, this is our chance to finally reenact the great Boston Tea Party! When April rolls around, everybody fill in their tax form the Democrat way: under ‘Occupation’, just write ‘Obama Cabinet Guy’, then put zeros everywhere else. When the IRS shows up, lock them in your laundry room.

They waste all our money on cucumber condoms in kindergarten anyway. Heck, I’m getting myself a tri-corn hat right now! Join the rebellion or your name is ‘Benedict Arnold Rosenberg’!