Today is Veteran’s Day, when we take a minute between 50% off mattress sales and Hitler Channel marathons to remember all the brave men who fought for America!

Your old friend Ed Anger is one of those vets. I fought on Pork Chop Hill, to keep half of Korean un-Communist first and anti-American later, like we did with the rest of the world!

I got frostbite and ate bad food so that the most boring of all the slanty-eyed countries could stay boring and eat cats and buy lots of weird plastic toys or whatever they do over there.

And what thanks do we get, America? None! All the people we fought still hate us. And all the people we saved hate us too! That, or we owe them all money.

All we have are each other, my fellow Americans – and I’m not too sure about maybe half of us.

So was it all worth it? When I see the Communist-in-Chief in the White House, turning the Rose Garden into a marijuana farm for his unicorn, I’m not too sure.

What was the point of shooting and beating up all those hippies and Black Panthers if we were just gonna turn around and give them government jobs?

Sometimes I wonder, America. But as long as there’s a little air left in my rusty old oxygen tank, your friend Ed will be here, fighting the good fight!