Greetings Sentients!  Once again this is your most humble host and educator of all things epicurean MYGAR. 
With the changing of seasons upon us it falls upon me to share my knowledge of the best travel destinations on the planet.  Below is a list of the greatest destinations, and greatest deals for the trans-galactic traveler on a budget.  Enjoy!

Venice.  Hotels in the submerged portions of the city have been set up for water breathing life forms and are some of the best in this section of the galaxy.

Teotihuacan.  If you can travel through time, their restaurants in 40 bc were beyond delight.  And don’t forget to take in a ball game, even if you know who wins its fun to watch.  Even the contemporary ruins of this once glorious civilization are still a marvel and worth the trip.

Dixie County Florida.  Florida’s gulf coast is home to some of the planet’s best beaches.  Off the shore of Dixie Country Manatees gather each spring for poetry readings and philosophical debates that outsiders are welcome to attend.

Tempe Arizona.  Hyperdrive drag racing over the Arizona desert has been a tradition here for decades.  See the best of the best compete for bragging rights.  New laws have made it more difficult to harass the local population with probing.

Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.  All Hail the retired empress of the Tulurgian Empire!  Since abdicating her throne some 40 years ago the former Empress has passed the time as a country and western singer and opened a self-styled theme park.  The funnel cakes are so good, you won’t care they’re made of people.

Thessaloniki, Greece.  Snorkel with the Kraken off the shores of this Mediterranean isle.  Enjoy dinner on a restaurant patio overlooking the cliffs where the local Sirens perform nightly.

London, UK.  Like most advanced life forms in the galaxy we all know the prophecy of what will happen to this great metropolis in 2012.  Book a space now to see the fireworks!

Dubai.  Due to a well concealed zombie outbreak no one else is here now.  And someone needs to stay in all those new hotels.

King William Island, Northern Canada.  Big game hunters will want to catch the Tuunboq, a giant snow monster which can eat humans whole.  Enjoy the psychic enhancing effects of being near the magnetic north pole.

Atlantis.  Due to a slumping economy visiting this sunken kingdom has become easier than ever.  Although some will claim that it has become overrun by the tourist market, a recent downturn in their economy has forced a great deal of scaling back and family owned businesses are making a comeback.

And that, my friends, rounds out my list of the best deals in travel for this lovely little planet.  Please explore this precious sphere in your own way and try to be patient with local lifeforms.

As always, your humble servant, MYGAR

VENICE – An archaeologist excavating mass graves of plague victims in Venice has discovered the skull of an alleged vampire!

Matteo Borini of the University of Florence removed the skeleton from a mass grave dating back to 1576. The skull has a brick shoved into the mouth, which grave diggers often did of suspected vampires. At the time, many citizens believed the plague was being spread by vampires.

The myth of vampirism was spread during the Middle Ages because of the lack of understanding of decay. A bloody substance was often expelled from the mouth after death, causing the shroud to sag in and tear.

During the plague, gravediggers often dumped new bodies into old graves, allowing them to see these “chewed on” shrouds. This led to the belief that shroud-chewing was the mystical way vampires were spreading the disease. The brick was to keep them at bay.

This is the grave where Borini discovered the skull:

While these circumstances can explain vampirism away in Italy, surely this can not discount vampire legends as far away as Africa, the Americas and even Asia?

VENICE, ITALY – Natalie and Chris Suhree were eating spaghetti and meatballs and discussing mafia politics when they heard the screams. “It sounded like an animal that is capable of taking flight but also like my friend Seth” explained Chris. “Also, it might sleep in a strange position like my friend Seth does sometimes.”

Much to his surprise, Chris wasn’t that far off – it turns out the screams came from a human bat – a strange creature that combines the characteristics of a bat and a human. “It still reminds me of Seth” snickered Chris. “He wouldn’t shut up while I was trying to eat.”