WASHINGTON – For the first time history the U.S. credit rating was downgraded – and the White House celebrated in style!

CHICAGO – On the same night jurors acquitted former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich of all but one charge, they won the $64 million Powerball lottery.

BREAKING – Washington, D.C. The White House announced this morning that they will be putting Bat Boy in charge of the newly created “Perfect Citizen” cyber program.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama will host the first White House seder. Party organizers state, “Why is this night different from any other? ‘Cause it’s gonna be fierce!”