WASHINGTON, DC – The US Treasury is putting the $100,000 bill back into circulation.
UPDATE: John Thain’s push for $10 million bonus is possibly orchestrated by aliens!
UPDATE: At a pivotal moment in the nation’s history, America’s newest Deputy Treasury Secretary, Bat Boy, was nowhere to be found. This revelation sent shockwaves through the market and Washington D.C. on Monday.
Where was Bat Boy? He had scurried off to see his favorite band, Vampire Weekend, play a secret show in Brooklyn on Saturday night. He watched and devoured mosquitoes while the nation burned.