DETROIT, MI – After announcing new “self-parking” cars, reports have emerged about the source of the revolutionary technology – goblins!

Unnamed sources from within the Ford Motor Corporation have leaked internal memos revealing details of the “self-parking” technology that will be featured in all top-of-the-line models of Ford automobiles starting in 2009.

The memos state that each car will employ two or four goblin technicians, depending on the size of the engine.  The goblins actually work under the hood of the car and take control of the car once the driver puts it into “park mode.”

Executives and spokesmen for the Ford Motor Corp. have refused to comment or return calls for a statement.

Members of the United States Congress however, have been making quite a fuss over the story and many are not amused by the concept of goblins working on the hoods of American cars.

“We spent many long days working on a bailout for the auto industry,” Republican Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas said.  “I don’t like the idea of American tax dollars going to Goblins!  That was not part of the agreement.”

“If they need small people in the engines to self-park the car, then find a small American!  We’ll breed Americans smaller and smarter and bring automotive jobs back to Americans!”

WASHINGTON, DC – President Bush’s unlucky week continued as another shoe wielding reporter attacked him at an intergalactic press junket.

Bush wasn’t expected to speak the junket which was focused on the effects of the failing U.S. auto industry on intergalactic markets.  With an opening in his schedule, Bush decided to drop in and answer questions regarding options the administration is debating to rescue the Big Three.

“He barely made it to the podium before the boots started flying,” Qwoak Daily Traveler correspondent, Krrzx Zxyxx reported.  “President Bush approached the mic and thanked the audience for the opportunity to address them.  That’s when things got interesting.”

Just after making a short opening remark, Bush asked for questions. Wzkvu Uvwtz, veteran reporter with the Kruk Moon Post, jumped to his feet and started yelling in his native language about Bush being the scourge of the Milky Way.

Within moments of the outburst the first of seven Moon Boots started flying through the air.

“Bush got lucky with the Iraqi reporter, he only has two feet,” White House Press Secretary Dana Perino said.  “Kruk’s have almost a dozen.  Thankfully the Secret Service was able to detain the reporter after the seventh boot.”

As in the Iraqi reporter incident, President Bush deftly dodged every shoe.  Although Bush survived the barrage unhurt, Perino was once again the only casualty.

“In Iraq, I took a microphone to the right eye,” Perino said.  “This time, I took a Moon Boot to the left eye, the right eye, my nose, spleen, kidney, gallbladder, and tuchus.  It’s been a rough couple of days.”