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UNITED STATES SURRENDERS TO JAPAN
Though North Korea is the country threatening the United States, Secretary of State, John Kerry, surrendered to Japan.
IRAN INVENTS TIME MACHINE
An Iranian scientist has invented a time machine that goes backward and forward in time!
GLOBAL COOLING THREATENS EARTH!
Shocked scientists told reporters that the Earth is cooling at a dramatic and alarming rate.
PRESIDENT OBAMA GETS A TATTOO
President Obama got a tattoo this week. His tattoo is a picture of his own face.
CROCODILE DUNDEE FOUND ALIVE!
Crocodile Dundee, long thought to be dead, was found alive in Los Angeles yesterday.
NFL TO SHUT DOWN BY 2020
The NFL announced that due to injury lawsuits and President Obama’s latest initiative, it will shut down in 2020.
OBAMA ADDS HIMSELF TO MOUNT RUSHMORE
At a press conference today, President Obama announced that he is ordering his face be placed on Mount Rushmore. President Obama said that he has issued…
DRONES TARGET RAND PAUL
Soon after Rand Paul ended his filibuster on drones, the White House ordered drones to follow the Kentucky Senator.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN 2013
WASHINGTON, DC – Shutdown crisis causes U.S. to turn to the alien, P’Lod, for financial aid.
BOOK YOUR ONE-WAY TRIP TO MARS!
Thousands are lining up for a one-way trip to Mars! Book your flight now! A Dutch company is establishing a human colony on Mars. The non-profit organization,…
