CHICAGO, IL – Jessica Simpson appeared on Oprah to discuss among other things her weight and John Mayer. Long time friend Tonya was there for support!

Jessica Simpson is making headlines again and not exactly for the best of reasons. Her relationship with ex-boyfriend John Mayer has been placed in a new light after some ill-advised comments by Mayer. In addition, critics have once again jumped all over her weight issues. She appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday to shed some clarity on her life. Tonya, the world’s fattest cat, was there to lend support.

“She’s been a close friend of the Simpsons for years,” said a spokeswoman for Tonya. “In the midst of this new media storm about her life, Jessica reached out to Tonya once again for support and Tonya did not hesitate.”

Simpson addressed the matter of John Mayer first. She told Winfrey that she felt betrayed by his words and actions and that she would not accept an apology from him.

“Sexually it was crazy,” said Mayer of their relationship in Playboy magazine. “It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just f—ing snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f— you, I would start selling all my s— just to keep f—ing you,” he so eloquently added.

Simson “hopes he gets his life together” but says she hasn’t accepted his apology and that part of her life is over.

Next the two moved on to her weight issues. The singer/actress told Winfrey that she is “absolutely” happy with her body. “I love my curves,” she said. “I’m not going to ever be size 0 and I don’t want to weigh 90 pounds.”

The two continued to address her weight issues but one could sense a confidence and inner happiness from Simpson. Whether Tonya is to thank for that is unknown, but the moral support sure didn’t hurt.

“I’ve been with her the last few days leading up to the interview. We talked about everything and laid all her feelings on the table,” Tonya said through her spokeswoman. “The most important thing I tried to accomplish was to reassure her that she’s beautiful, no matter what others think. I told her that Big is Beautiful and that Bigger is Better.”

NEW YORK, NY – New discoveries by scientists have shaken up the animal kingdom – and one of WWN’s own!

The first discovery comes out of the university of California at Berkeley. Some male frogs have developed female reproductive systems and the ability to lay eggs when exposed to a weed-killer chemical. The study was published Monday and in it scientists concluded that the herbicide atrazine has a severe effect on male fringes. According to them it causes male frogs to become “so completely female that they can mate and lay viable eggs.” This study has the potential to raise questions as to what qualifies as a safe chemical.

The second discovery comes to us courtesy of the University of Michigan and one of its professors, Jeffrey Wilson. His team of scientists discovered a macabre death scene that took place 67 million years ago. The scene contained a dinosaur just hatched from an egg and an 11-foot snake ready to devour it. The scene was preserved by a sudden avalanche and fossilized for scientists to discover. The snake was ready to devour a baby sauropod, which were the biggest dinosaurs to roam the earth.

The last discovery has perhaps caused the most buzz – to one particular individual of Weekly World News family. The discovery comes to us from Russia in which Lubya, a baby wooly mammoth, was discovered. Lubya was preserved for 42,000 years in “frigid Siberian river muck.” Lubya was preserved so perfectly that even her baby fat remained intact.

Tonya, the world’s fattest cat, has heard of this finding and has assumed that this is the discovery of the world’s fattest wooly mammoth. When you reach such sizes of mass and girth, you are automatically bestowed a “world’s fattest” radar. Well her radar must be malfunctioning because this is a case of a baby wooly mammoth and not a grown adult.

Tonya has not been able to be reached for comment. There is no doubt that she is on the move to find this “world’s fattest wooly mammoth” in Russia and find someone to make her happy. It’s too bad she can’t be reached because Lubya is not in Russia but is actually on loan to Chicago’s Field Museum.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Following a New Year’s telethon for pets in need, Tonya The World’s Fattest Cat had a falling out with co-host Ricky Gervais.

Gervais has come under fire this week for comments he made on the telethon and in recent stand-up routines about “fat people” that some people think are going too far.

Calling overweight people “lazy pigs,” Gervais has asserted that obesity is a choice.  On the show, Gervais held up a 4-month-old Siamese kitten looked at Tonya and said, “Before I met you, I never knew these came in triple extra large.”

Tonya’s handlers abruptly entered a shot and declared, “Ricky Gervais doesn’t care about fat people.”

On his blog, Gervais responded to allegations of hate-mongery, claiming, “Of course I care about fat people!  I’m a fatty; most of England is fatties and many Americans too.   As long as they keep supporting me, I will support them.  And all nine of their chins.”

Gervais said he tried reaching out to Tonya to make amends.

Through her Twitter page, Tonya replied, “Sunday 4:17pm: Totally ignoring his calls.  Not letting him ruin my ham and cheese break.”  As well as, “Monday 8:39am: Not returning that email.  Paws full of spam.”

“I know what she’s doing here: playing hard to get,” Gervais said on his blog.  “She thinks the longer she avoids me, the more intently I’ll pursue her.  I wish I could say its not working.  But it is!”

“Now I don’t just want her forgiveness, I want her.  She’s made me fall in love with a fatty!”