NEW YORK –NBC won the rights to broadcast doomsday – May 21, 2011

After a week-long battle with ABC, CBS, FOX, CNN and the SYFY channel, NBC won the rights to broadcast the end of the world.  You’ll be able to catch it live at 8pm EST (7pm CST).

The U.S. evangelical Christian broadcaster predicting that Judgment Day will come on Saturday says he expects to watch the entire NBC broadcast, so he doesn’t miss a minute of the unfolding apocalypse.

Harold Camping, 89, previously made a failed prediction that Jesus Christ would return to Earth in 1994.  But this time he, and NBC, are sure that the world will end at exactly 11:45 – right after Saturday Night Live does its last opening sketch.

NBC is not revealing exactly what will happen or where they will be filming but they are sure an earthquake will shake the Earth to its core, sweeping true believers to heaven and leaving others behind to be engulfed in the world’s destruction over a few months.

“We know, without any shadow of a doubt that it is going to happen,”  NBC President Jeff Zucker said.

Brian Williams will be hosting “The Rapture!” – with his family sitting nearby.

Donald Trump will move up announcing the winner of Celebrity Apprentice on Saturday night at 9pm.  “We want to hire someone before the world ends,” Trump said.

Tina Fey will be reprising her Sarah Palin imitation in a special sketch moments before the world ends.  “Tina wants Sarah to be the voice that leads the world to utter destruction,” said Zucker.

So tune in on Saturday.  If you miss it, don’t worry – NBC plans to rebroadcast on Sunday at 8pm – unless, of course, we are all dead.

NEW YORK – Lorne Michaels announced that Saturday Night Live’s 2011 season, its 36th, will be the sketch comedy show’s final season.

Michaels, the show’s creator and head producer, cited lack of funds, a diminishing fan-base, and the expansion of websites like Hulu and YouTube as primary reasons for the show’s cancellation.

“There’s no competing with the internet,” said Michaels to a group of reporters outside his New York office. “People would much rather watch YouTube clips on their computers than tune into a real live television show.”

“It’s sad,” added Michaels, “ but the people who call themselves ‘fans’ of the show by watching it online are actually the ones putting us out of business.”

Saturday Night Live, once a mainstay of NBC’s Saturday night line-up, received abysmally low ratings for the past five seasons, prompting NBC executives to put pressure on the show’s producers to boost viewership and broaden its fan-base. In June of 2006, NBC executive Steve Burke threatened to pull the sketch comedy show off the air if it couldn’t increase its Nielsen ratings in five years.

“I saw that the show was headed down the tubes five years ago,” Burke, “and it’s been a financial burden ever since. My only regret is not pulling the plug sooner.”

Saturday Night Live premiered on October 11th 1975 on NBC Universal.  Here’s the original cast:

Now in its 36th season, the show is often accused by critics as having “lost its edge” in terms of comedic quality and mass appeal.  Here’s the current cast:

“SNL isn’t as funny as it used to be,” said Ray Colomb, a stand-up comedian in New York. “I don’t know whether it’s the writing or the acting or both, but the show just isn’t the same as when Dan Akroyd and Chevy Chase use to hang at 30 Rock.”

Others cited the fact that the sketches seem to go on long past they are funny.  “They need a kill switch,” said Moses Johnson, another stand-up.

Yet despite the overwhelming criticism, some fans see no reason to cancel the show because of a few lackluster seasons.

“Saturday Night Live was an iconic television show,” said Gary Longman, a Boston area television critic. “It was an American tradition. It launched so many careers and inspired so many great movies. I’ll be sad to see it go.”

The last episode of Saturday Night Live will air on Saturday, May 14th, at 7:30 pm. A three-hour “farewell” special, the episode will feature hosts Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, and John Goodman, as well as musical guests Lil’ Wayne, Coldplay, and U2.

NEW YORK -  Weekly World News has selected Tina Fey as the Sexiest Woman Alive and Bat Boy is going to tell her on 30 Rock Live!

WWN has spent the last month pouring over pictures of beautiful women:  Kim Kardashian, J-Woww, Larissa Requilme, Rhianna, Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock, Jenny McCarthy, Tyra Banks, Giselle Bundchen, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez etc…  It’s been a grueling process.

r. Barry Leed had to be rushed to the hospital several times.  Ph.D. Ape made a brilliant speech to the group, outlining the pros and cons over every woman. After a lengthy discussion and very little debate, the WWN board was unanimous.

NO woman can hold a candle to the WWN choice:  Tina Fey.  The Sexiest Woman Alive!

Bat Boy is a BIG, BIG fan of Tina Fey.  She is doing a LIVE broadcast of her hit sitcom 30 Rock tonight and Bat Boy intends to show up and give her the WWN Sexiest Woman Alive award in person.  Bat Boy is disgusted that Minka Kelly got the honor from Esquire.

Why  did WWN choose Tina Fey?  She’s beautiful, smart, funny.  End of story.   That makes her the sexiest women alive and sexier than most dead women as well.

And those glasses —- yowza!

We love a girl who knows her way around a typewriter:

Come hither?  You betcha.

There are those glasses!!    And those legs! …

Esquire recently named Minka Kelly as The Sexiest Woman alive.  Please… You think she’s sexier than Tina?

Been there, haven’t done that.  But…whatever.

This is the first annual WWN Sexiest Woman Alive post…. Bat Boy will be delivering Tina’s WWN  SWA Statuette to her personally on the set of 30 Rock.  Look for him tonight on 30 Rock live!!

Frank Lake has been in contact with Tina’s people for a personal interview.  So far, no call back… but he’s hoping to get the full scoop.

NEW YORK, NY – Saturday Night Live welcomed back one of its own and the host did not disappoint!

Tina Fey has been a hot commodity in the last year or so. She’s worked on countless movies, most recently Date Night, and she’s one of the stars of the hit comedy-series 30 Rock. SNL was her launching pad and she returned to host the show this past Saturday. Fey was as funny as always and her presence has been one that hasn’t been filled.

Fey did a number of skits such as the Weekend Update with Seth Meyers. However, everyone was hoping for a Sarah Palin skit and Fey did not disappoint.

Check her out below.

LONG ISLAND SOUND, NY – The Lake Erie Monster tried out for the Saturday Night Live auditions to find new female cast members.

Star member Amy Poehler departed from the show after giving birth, leaving the show in dire straits. With only two female cast members left, Saturday Night Live quickly put out the call for interested parties to audition. Little did they know what it would bring up from the murky depths…

The Lake Erie Monster was able to make her way into the try-outs and did the only impression she has: Sarah Palin. Her 60-second audition consisted of her alternating between shouting, “Maverick!” over and over again and winking at the camera.

She was seemingly oblivious to the fact that former cast member Tina Fey had shot the show to ratings heaven with her own Palin impression just a few weeks back. Lorne Michaels was not amused. Comedians Abby Elliott and Michaela Watkins were chosen and introduced in last Saturday’s episode.

It is believed that Lemmie (as she refers to be called) was only allowed to audition because of Affirmative Action, which has recently been broadened to include cryptids. After being rejected, she cried hysterically for four seconds and then re-submerged into Long Island Sound, leaving only a trail of mascara behind.

Is this the last we’ll see of the Lake Erie diva? This Weekly World News writer thinks not.

]]> http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/3854/snl-rejects-lake-erie-monster/feed/ 1 Garrett Hawley lemmiesnl http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/3475/tina-fey-shoots-a-bigfoot/ http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/3475/tina-fey-shoots-a-bigfoot/#comments Tue, 21 Oct 2008 11:47:03 +0000 Reginald Cunningham III http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/?p=3475 ]]>

WASILLA, AK – Tina Fey, who has made headlines recently by impersonating Governor Sarah Palin, has gone so far as to lampoon her famous aerial shooting of a Bigfoot.

Cast and crew of the show Saturday Night Live flew out yesterday to Chugach National Park in Alaska to film a sketch for their special Thursday show.

After several passes pretending to fire an M240 machine gun at Andy Samberg in a costume, Fey and crew touched down in a helicopter mere yards from where Palin’s shooting took place.  While recreating Palin’s classic pose, complete with Fey carrying her own daughter in a Baby Bjorn, an actual Sasquatch came out from the tree line, apparently angered by Fey’s uncanny resemblance to the Alaska governor.

Production assistants and interns were ordered to stand in front of the massive primate and defend Tina Fey with their lives.

Thinking quickly the Emmy-winning comedienne grabbed a tranquilizer gun which had been brought in case of moose or bear problems and shot the rampaging creature, saving the lives of dozens.

Sources within NBC say the segment cannot be aired due to issues with the Federal Wildlife Commission; however leaked footage is beginning to circulate on the internet.

Andy Samberg, mauled to death in the incident, will be replaced by a shaggy haired monkey who will be dressed in ironic t-shirts and taught to smirk at the camera.