NEW YORK, NY – The king has a new home – and we’re not talking about LeBron James!

With Burger Wars a few weeks behind us – fast-food chains have had a chance to regroup and refocus. Five Guys Burgers and Fries walked away with the best burger – a shock to many. Burger King and The King may be feeling the loss the most – and they have made strides to rectify the problem for next year.

Burger King is under new leadership and they have their eye on the prize. 3G Capital has bought Burger King Holdings Inc, the No. 2 U.S. fast-food chain, for $24 per share, or about $3.26 billion. The investment firm is looking to catapult the fast-food chain to new heights, with the ultimate goal of winning best burger and top food in next year’s Zagat survey.

“There is no way that we should finish 4th and 5th in Best Burger and Top Food respectively,” said an executive from 3G Capital. “There is a reason that King is in Burger King and we’re going to prove that. We will make radical changes and the only place to go is to the top!”

Burger King has lagged behind larger rival McDonald’s Corp and other fast food chains as its key customer base takes a deeper hit from persistently high unemployment rates. Last week, the company forecast weak demand during its new fiscal year due to the U.S. economy’s slow pace and government austerity programs in several European countries.

“The king is back!,” proclaimed another executive. “We’re not talking about LeBron James. Our burgers and food and service will launch us to the top of the pyramid. We have big goals and big dreams and they will all be realized.”

Next year’s Burger Wars are shaping up to be a heavyweight battle. Stay Tuned.

MEMPHIS -  To mark the 33rd anniversary of his reported death, Elvis went to Graceland and he brought Michael Jackson with him.

Thousands of fans will be visiting Graceland today to pay tribute to the late Elvis Presley, who supposedly died on this date in 1977.   WWN has learned that Elvis Presley, who is still alive, snuck into Graceland last night with Michael Jackson – also still alive.

Michael and Elvis had a lot to talk about.  They have been hiding together in an undisclosed European location ever since Michael Jackson’s reported death.  Elvis and Michael have teamed up for two reasons: 1) they are going to make an album together (to be released in 2011) and 2) they are on a mission to go after doctors that take advantage of music legends.   Both stars “died” because of abusive practices of doctors surrounding them.

Graceland Manor, which was purchased in 1957 by Elvis for around $90,000, is second to only the White House in terms of tourism. About 600,000 people come annually to see where Elvis called home.  Elvis, himself, makes the trip three times a year – for his birthday, the anniversary of his death and for the Memphis Blues Festival.

Today, the usual army of Elvis impersonators showed up at Graceland.  Elvis, reportedly, is not happy with these imitators and wants to work with the city, state and federal government to have them banned forever – a move which is supported by 85% of the population (the other 15% are Elvis impersonators).  Michael Jackson is joining with him, fearful that there will be a rash of Michael Jackson impersonators roaming the earth soon.

Former President George W Bush was part of the throngs of fans outside Graceland. “I loved Frank Sinatra.  He was always my favorite singer.”  When Bush was told that he was standing at Elvis Presley’s house, not Frank Sinatra’s, Bush replied, “Oh, I love ALL the Beatles. I’m just glad I made it here with all the traffic… mission accomplished.”

So, if you listen closely tonight, you will hear a duet by Michael Jackson and Elvis wafting in the air. They’ll be singing “Are You Lonesome Tonight?”

Though there have not been any recent Elvis (or MJ) sightings… they are here.  Always…

You gotta believe:

And remember:

How much do you REALLY know about The King? Read this collection of trivia and find out!

1. Elvis’ income dropped from $400,000 a month to $78 a month after he was drafted into the U.S. Army on Dec. 19, 1957.

2. The King’s entourage were known collectively as the Memphis Mafia. All sported diamond and gold rings, given to them by Elvis, on which a thunderbolt and the letters TCB had been imprinted. TCB stood for “Taking Care of Business”.

3. The Beatles visited Elvis at his home in California on Aug. 27, 1965, joining him in an informal jam session that, tragically, wasn’t recorded.

4. Elvis called milk “butch”.

5. Elvis gave away so many cars – including Corvettes, Cadillacs and Lincolns – that nobody has ever been able to come up with an accurate count.

6. The King’s last car was a 1976 Cadillac Eldorado which sported gold-plated hubcaps, TV – and a bar.

7. Elvis’ concert jumpsuits were given names. They included: Peacock, White Prehistoric Bird, Flame, Gypsy, Mad Tiger and King of Spades.

8. The King’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, made more than Elvis. He got 50% of what the star made from 1967 on and then earned extra pay as a technical adviser on Elvis’ films.

9. The King’s first guitar cost $12.95.

10. Football was The King’s favorite sport and the Cleveland Browns were his favorite team.

11. Elvis’ favorite movie was James Dean’s Rebel Without a Cause, which he memorized line by line.

12. Some of Elvis’s bejewelled jumpsuits weighed more than 25 pounds.

13. The first country to honor Elvis on a postage stamp was the Caribbean island nation of Grenada.

14. Elvis owned 37 guns and liked them so much that he wore a two-shot derringer during live performances in the 1970s.

15. Elvis’ natural hair color was blond, but he dyed it black.

16. Elvis was awarded two medals while serving in the Army, one for expert marksmanship and the other for sharpshooting.

17. Elvis wore a cross, the Hebrew letter chai, and a star of David around his neck. “I don’t want to miss out on heaven due to a technicality,” he said.

18. Elvis recorded more than 600 songs in his music career, but didn’t write a single one of them.

19. Elvis’ favorite meal: Pork chops with brown gravy and apple pie for dessert.

20. Among the many nicknames Elvis went by were: E, Big E, Big El, The Bopping Hillbilly, The Cat, The Chief, Mr. Dynamite and, of course, The King.

[Image courtesy of FreakingNews.com]