BANGKOK – The largest stingray ever caught was recorded and released back into the wild. But was it of this earth?

A British man visiting Thailand to help with a stingray tagging program was nearly pulled overboard. Ian Welch just happened to catch the largest freshwater fish ever landed, a 770-pound stingray! The ray was seven feet wide by seven feet long, with a monstrous ten-foot stinger.

It required 13 men in total to finally get the stingray onto the boat for inspection. After tagging and recording the ray, which was actually pregnant, it was released back into the water.

However, their records may be uselss. Weekly World News editors have noticed a distinct resemblance to the aliens featured in the widely-acclaimed documentary The Abyss, filmed by James Cameron. Did Welch make an even more important discovery? Are these aliens coming closer to shore?

HUP PA TARD, THAILAND – The dragon millipede has come out as the first openly gay insect in the world!

The millipede was just discovered last year by scientists in the Greater Mekong area. It is most notable for its bright pink coloring, which was originally thought to act as a warning to predators.

But Weekly World News has the exclusive scoop: pink is actually his choice of self-expression! The teenage arthropod exclaimed, “I’m here! I’m queer! I’m a Desmoxytes purpurosea! Get used to it!”

His parents, Mr and Mrs. Dragon Millipede, are more subdued but supportive. “To be honest, it didn’t come as a big surprise. Most of us millipedes are happy to crawl around very slowly in earth tones, but not our D.M. Junior. He’s very unique.” She affectionately ruffled Junior’s antennae, to which he sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.

When asked how he felt, Mr. Dragon Millipede shrugged his multiple shoulders. “I guess we won’t be playing 400 Ball Catch any time soon. But at least you can help your mother do her make-up now, right? Right, son?”

D.M. Junior silently went up to his cave and slammed his rainbow colored door.

BANGKOK, THAILAND – The Chaos Cloud is apparently unhappy over the uproar in Bangkok’s airport.

Protesters from the People’s Alliance for Democracy poured into Bangkok’s international airport as Prime Minister Somchai Wongsawat was due to arrive. Wongsawat’s flight was diverted and the airport has been completely shut down. Stranded foreigners are being relocated to hotels as thousands of protesters settled in for the long haul.

The Chaos Cloud arrived late last night in Bangkok, leaving citizens to awaken to its sun-blocking gloom. Thai journalists believe the Cloud is not concerned with the political outcome of the protests, only that complete anarchy not occur. The Chaos Cloud is attempting to contain any chaos until its final descent in 2014.

The head of Thailand’s army has now assured the public and the Cloud that the military will not commit a coup, but strongly encourages the government to allow free elections. “The government should return power to the people,” stated General Anupong Paochinda, with a fearful eye to the sky.