The corpse blew a casket!
20 STATES TO SECEDE FROM THE UNION!
After the re-election of Barack Obama, 20 states have declared they will secede from the union.
texas
HELP WANTED: NASA NEEDS ASTRONAUTS!
HOUSTON – President Obama is dismantling the U.S. Space Program, but NASA is in desperate need of astronauts.
SELENA GOMEZ AND JUSTIN BIEBER – NUDE!!
DALLAS – Sculptor Daniel Edwards has created a bronze statue of a nude Selena Gomez and her ex-boyfriend, Justin Bieber.
JACKIE KENNEDY: LYNDON JOHNSON GOT BOBBY, TOO!
NEW YORK – Sources say tapes released reveal that Jackie Kennedy believed Lyndon Johnson was also the mastermind behind RFK’s assassination.
NOTRE DAME #1 IN PRESEASON RANKINGS
TYSONS CORNER, VA — The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame are ranked #1 in the 2011 preseason coaches’ poll.
OBAMA BURNS TEXAS!
SAN ANTONIO – Rumors are spreading that President Obama ordered fires set in Texas. He’s had enough of The Lone Star State!
TEXANS PRAY TO RAIN GODS
Texas Governor Rick Perry ordered all Texans to pray for rain as firefighters try to contain wildfires across the state.
KILLER BEES ATTACK!
TEXAS – A massive swarm of killer bees attacked several towns in Southern Texas, killing over two hundred people.