BURLESON, TX – A farmer and his wife made a holy discovery underneath one of their chickens!

HOUSTON, TX – Amazed scientists have discovered two new planets 1,300 light-years away, and one of them is the exact twin of Earth in every detail.

UPDATE: Carl Landry of the Houston Rockets was shot in the leg early this morning during a failed robbery. Was the same leprechaun from Plaxico Burress’ injury involved?

CRAWFORD, TX – Bush Administration officials have announced the latest recipient of a Presidential pardon.

HOUSTON, TX – Billionaire energy mogul T. Boone Pickens has announced a revolutionary alien technology as the next step in the campaign for US energy independence.

NEW YORK, NY – Macy’s 150th annual Thanksgiving Day Parade drew thousands to New York City yesterday including one unwelcome guest, Manigator.

SAN ANTONIO, TX – Residents of San Antonio are perplexed by a recent series of strange sightings.

STAMFORD, CT – In the midst of helping John McCain grieve, PhD Ape took a red-eye flight Monday night to be with Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman.

Larry King interviewed witnesses of a mass UFO sighting in Stephenville, Texas.

BREAKING NEWS: In a new study, scientists are researching the missing link between fish and land animals.