I’m madder than a Irishman without cabbage in his pants.

I’m madder than a leprechaun with a crooked shillelagh about St. Patrick’s Day!

I’m madder than Jackie-O in a thrift shop!

WASHINGTON, DC – Scott Brown will be sworn in today, ahead of schedule. CSPAN is expecting the sexiest Senate inauguration ever!

I’m happier than a Labrador Retriever at a wading pool!

BREAKING NEWS – Ed Anger has obtained Ted Kennedy’s letter to the Pope!

BOSTON, MA – With Senator Ted Kennedy’s passing, will we ever know the truth of the accident that killed Mary Jo Kopechne?

Senator Ted Kennedy passed away last night. Weekly World News has uncovered details about his upcoming funeral.

HYANNIS, MA – Ted Kennedy was notably absent today as family and friends gathered to pay their last respects to Eunice Kennedy Shriver. Or was he?

WASHINGTON D.C. – The ghost of Mary Jo Kopechne is at it again! And she’s really leaving her mark!