The Rockefeller Christmas Tree will be lit tonight.  And this year it features — Bat Boy ornaments!

Mariah Carey and Susan Boyle will take the stage at tonight’s Christmas tree lightning ceremony at New York City’s famed Rockefeller Center.   The highlight of the event will be the unveiling of the Bat Boy ornaments – used for the first time.

Here’s a couple of the ornaments placed on the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree:

Two stars, who both recently released holiday LPs, will be joined by Jessica Simpson, Josh Groban and Welsh mezzo-soprano Katherine Jenkins for the Christmas In Rockefeller Center televised broadcast.

‘Pyramid’ singer Charice and rocker Sheryl Crow are to perform as well.

Swedish supermodel, Anna Hofverberg, will join Bat Boy on the ice rink.  They will perform a routine to Bat Boy’s favorite Miley Cyrus song, “Can’t Be Tamed.”   For the first time in pairs skating, a woman will toss a man in the air. Hofverberg thinks she can toss him high enough to complete a quadruple axle with a triple twist and a head plant.

If you want to get your own Bat Boy gifts for Christmas, visit the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS STORE.

This year’s 74-foot Norway spruce tree was donated by the Acton family of Mahopac, New York.

The tree lighting ceremony has been held annually in New York City since Rockefeller Plaza opened in 1933.

LONDON – Susan Boyle lost “Britain’s Got Talent” this weekend, sparking riots across the UK.

This Saturday on the season finale of “Britain’s Got Talent”, crowd favorite Susan Boyle took second place to London based dance troupe Diversity.

Susan Boyle shot to international fame when the humble singer wowed audiences with her vocal power.  The 47-year-old who has never been kissed became an instant hero to rural people.

Shortly after the decision was announced, devoted fans across the United Kingdom broke out in violence.

Ornate and whimsical teapots were smashed in rage as news spread of Boyle’s defeat.  Residents of small villages, who saw Boyle as one of their own, were the hardest hit when she lost the competition.  Surrey called in the British National Defense Force when suburban families took to the streets in anger.  Riot police had to use tear gas on a group of 4000 middle aged people wearing mostly tweed.

Residents of North Berkshire burned the local BBC building to the ground.  Effigies of the Diversity troupe were burned in the Lincoln town square.  In Boyle’s hometown of Blackburn Scotland members of her parish church stripped naked and painted themselves blue before going into a violent rage that left 3 dozen English soccer hooligans begging for mercy.

Susan Boyle has since been hospitalized from the stress of the weekend’s events.  British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, thankful to have something to distract people from his own current scandal, has said a formal recount will be requested in the interest of national security.

I’m madder than Liberace in the ladies’ room! Nobody told me it was the International Year of the Fat Chick. First we all have to look at that Scottish lady singer wearing a dress made from her grandma’s drapes. Sure, she can really belt out a tune, but let’s face it: she’s no oil painting.

Now the Teleprompter Kid decides to put this Sotomayor woman on the Supreme Court. Can I “press #2” to say “No way”? These are lifetime appointments, which means we’re all stuck looking at her for another thirty years.

Hasn’t the Communist-in-Chief seen that Sandra Day O’Connor? They call her “Reagan’s Mistake” but at least O’Connor was fairly easy on the eyes, in a Grace Kelly kinda way. She aged pretty well, which is more than I can say for that Ruth Ginsberg, who reminds me of Dr. Zira from Planet of the Apes if she’d been an anorexic.

Sotomayor has said some pretty crazy things too, about Spanish ladies being smarter than white guys. That’s just nuts. Are you telling me they had Mexican maids on the Mayflower? Did a Porto-Rican cross the Delaware? No, this country was started up by old white guys like me, and that’s all I need to know!

If only McCain had won the election, then we could’ve had that Miss California on the Supreme Court! She could’ve gotten picked as a consolation prize for losing that beauty pageant on account of that little pansy, Perez Hilton.

Hey, wait a minute: that name “Perez” sounds foreign! Maybe this is all part of some Mexican plot to take over the U. S. of A. When they put up a Virgin Mary statue where Lady Liberty used to be, don’t say old Ed didn’t warn you!

HAMPTONS, NY – The demands on his time proving to be too great this week for individual attention, PhD invited three of his clients to a group therapy session at his posh oceanside retreat.

Lindsay Lohan, Dog The Bounty Hunter and Susan Boyle are each on their way from Los Angeles, Atlanta, and London respectively to join PhD Ape, therapist to the stars, at his summer home in the Hamptons. There, they will enjoy a relaxing long weekend of walking on the beach, poolside barbecues and group therapy.

“While I typically stress the importance of extensive one-on-one interaction with my clients, sometimes it is even more beneficial to put several clients in a room together so that they gain the unique insight of each other’s experiences,” PhD Ape said during a conference call to reporters.

“This is one of those times.”

Lindsay Lohan, one of the media’s prime targets as of late, especially after her high profile breakup with lesbian lover, Samantha Ronson, is said to have called PhD Ape following a night of partying.

“I received a call from Lindsay very early in the morning, it couldn’t have been later than five in the morning.” PhD Ape said.  “She was crying and she told me that she needed things to change.  She wanted her reputation and her career and her money back.”

“I said, Lindsay, come stay with me this weekend.  I’m getting some people together, and I think it will be very good for you.”

Dog the Bounty Hunter, no stranger to mixed press himself, found himself in the news after being shot at during a failed attempt at apprehending a suspected murderer.

“Usually the one doing the shooting, Dog was very shaken up at literally have the gun turned on him,” PhD ape continued during the conference call.

“It’s been a long time since Dog has called me for help or guidance, but we are good friends and my home is open to him this weekend as well.”

“Dog, in the prime of his career, and Lindsay seemingly at the end of hers, are great counterparts to help me give guidance and support to my newest client, Ms. Susan Boyle.”

Internet darling turned reality-TV star, Boyle, famous for her singing in YouTube videos, has found the limelight of fame to be more invasive than she imagined.

“Its a big contrast from singing by yourself in your living room to being featured on one of Britain’s most popular television programs.  And to now have the British paparazzi camped outside her home, it’s very overwhelming for Susan.”

“I think she can learn a lot from Dog and Lindsay.  On the surface these three have little in common, but at the heart of it, their concerns are the same.”

“Lindsay is the poster child for what not to do as a celebrity, and Susan needs to take those lessons to heart if she doesn’t want to end up washed out after just a few years of success.  And Lindsay herself can take some cues from Susan.  Her modesty and self-control, albeit very early in her career, I hope will inspire Lindsay to turn a leaf backwards and become that perky red headed little girl we all fell in love with so many years ago.”

“Proverbially, of course.”