Trippy, the beloved dog of New England Patriot coach, Bill Belichick, is in a deep depression following the Super Bowl.

The Belichick family is deeply concerned about their dog, Trippy (named after a sideline technique that Belichick developed).

A Super Bowl spycam caught Trippy on the sideline in the final seconds of the Super Bowl in Indianapolis on Sunday.

Since then Trippy has refused to eat and only laps at his Tom Brady Bowl twice or three times a day.

“We are VERY concerned,” said Belichick’s girlfriend, Linda Holliday.  ”Bill is depressed about the game, but Trippy is despondent.”

Trippy is reportedly always by Belichick’s side during Patriot practices.  Some say Trippy always looks depressed, but “that’s just the Belichick look,” said a friend of a Patriot cornerback.

Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady’s wife, weighed in on Trippy’s depression.  ”Who cares about the damn dog?!  Can the dog catch a football?!  If he can, he should replace the rotten receivers Tommy has to throw to.”

Trippy reportedly bit Gisele on the ankle last summer. “They don’t like each other,” said a source close to the Patriots.

Patriots fans say that they saw one of the Giants’ players kick Trippy on the sideline, but WWN can not confirm that rumor.

We do wish Trippy a quick return to… joy.

Gisele Bundchen continues to diss her hubby’s New England Patriots teammates!

As Giselles exited the Super Bowl on Sunday night, she revealed her long-held negative feelings about her husband’s teammates.

Other players’ wives and members of the Patriots’ organization gave me an earful Monday as Bundchen’s comments went viral.

Reportedly egged on by a New York Giants fan who made a mocking remark to Bundchen on her way out of Lucas Oil Stadium, the Brazilian beauty said, “My husband cannot f – - – - – - throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

A veteran team staffer said: “Gisele may have had a point, but she should have left it to the sportswriters and other Monday morning quarterbacks. . . . She already is not liked by many players and their wives due to her arrogant attitude. . . . This sure won’t help improve things.”

A Brady teammate told WWN, “Gisele has very few friends among the wives. Of course, many are jealous of her looks and all that, but she doesn’t make it easy to like her — since she obviously feels so superior to all of us.”

He didn’t help that Gisele doubled-down today.  She went after the Patriot defensive line, “they got beat on the edge too many times,” against the cornerbacks, “they blew coverage too many times,” and, of course the offensive line, “if they can’t protect my Tommy, they should go back to moving boulders.”

The other Patriot wives certainly don’t like the way Giselle prances around Gillette Stadium:

Another source — close to a lot of the Patriots’ wives — told me, “Gisele is . . . so stuck up and treats them all like yahoos. . . . In many cases, the other wives are not all that sophisticated, but Gisele has been openly snotty to several of them — making cracks about how they dress and use too much makeup. Stuff like that.”

Trouble in Tom world.

A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that watching the Super Bowl causes male impotence!

The study, which examined data from 20,000 incidents in which male participants were forced to watch footage from previous Super Bowls, successfully linked the watching of high-intensity, fast-paced sports footage to a sharp decrease in the male “virility.”

“The results were startling,” said biology professor Adam Dawson, the study’s lead researcher. “Even though Americans consider the Super Bowl to be one of the manliest events on TV, it turns out that watching it might not be so good for our…ahem… “health.”

According to Dawson, it is not uncommon for a man to contract a debilitating case of impotence even if he doesn’t profess to “watch the Super Bowl.” As the study suggests, merely being in the presence of a television on which the Super Bowl is being played can cause similar effects.

Even cheerleaders had not affect on the male participants in the study..

The study cites one case of a man who, after accidentally catching a glimpse of a Super Bowl commercial out of the corner of his eye last year, was rushed to the hospital with acute symptoms of impotence. He emerged three weeks later as a full-fledged woman.

“I never thought this would happen to me,” said the woman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “I don’t even like football. I just went to that stupid Super Bowl party for the spinach dip. And now look at me!”

The study’s researchers cautioned to avoid watching the Super Bowl at all costs if they “value their manhood.”

“We know it won’t be easy,” said Dawson, “but were asking men to skip out on the Super Bowl this year. We want them to try to watch something else, something that doesn’t resemble the Super Bowl in any way – like an ice dancing marathon on the Lifetime channel.”

Some men have taken this warning to heart, and have already vowed to turn off their TVs come Super Bowl Sunday. Others, however, cannot resist the urge to sit back in their La-Z-Boys, crack open a few beers, and feast their eyes on the highly anticipated showdown between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers.

“Nothing gets between me and my Patriots,” said Bill Pascal, a diehard Patriots fan from  Newton, Massachusetts, “not even incapacitating case of male impotence.”

“Besides,” added Pascal, “I’m chubby, bald, and a Patriots fan – who’s going to want to date me in the first place?”

Dawson said he hopes that the new study will raise awareness for the dangers and health risks involved in watching the Super Bowl.

“130 million people are going to watch the Super Bowl this year,” said Dawson. “That means at least 85 million men will be putting their masculinity at stake by tuning in. If you truly appreciate your manliness, then turn off that TV!”

Super Bowl XLVI, which will be played between the New England Patriots and New York Giants, airs next Sunday, February 5 on NBC. Coverage starts at 6:30 pm. Will you be watching?

A Los Angeles-based TV producer has reportedly secured a full-hour CNN interview show with Casey Anthony – a deal worth $2 million. 

Casey Anthony, who was acquitted in July of murdering her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee Anthony, inked a major Hollywood deal today.   She will reportedly be giving her first live interview to CNN that will net the acquitted Casey a hefty sum.

“The public has the wrong image of Casey and she is looking forward to clearing the air and showing everyone in America that she is a kind, loving woman.  She will talk at length about Caylee, the trial, and her ongoing hunt for the real killers.”

Apparently, Casey feels that the real killers were part of some bizarre baby killing cult.

Multiple sources say Anthony’s agent, Rand Sternberg secured between $1.8 million and $2.2 million for the hour-long interview.

The show will be shot in the week between Christmas and New Year’s and will air during Super Bowl week.  ”I predict it will rival the Super Bowl in terms of ratings,” said one of Casey’s attorneys.

Also, as per the contract agreement, Casey will sing and dance on the show.  ”Casey has always wanted to sing and dance. She wanted to audition for American Idol, but the crowd became too vocal for her, so she had to leave.  During the show, America will not only see that she is a good human being, but she’s a great singer.  She does a great Joan Jett interpretation.”

Casey is also in talks with several networks about made-for-TV movies, as well as a feature film directed by one of the leading thriller directors in Hollywood.

Casey was thrilled with the deal, and was seen out in Las Vegas – celebrating:

NEW YORK –  The NFL announced last night that, starting in 2012, the league will allow women to play.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell made the announcement to a group of reporters outside the NFL headquarters in New York City early Wednesday evening. He said he hoped the decision to include female players would convey the NFL’s more “feminine” and “progressive” sides.

“Times are changing,” said Goodell, “the military is about to allow women into combat.   If women are going to be fighting on the battlefield, how can we stop them from participating in football.  It’s not fair  The NFL is open to all players now – regardless of gender.”

According to the new rule book, each NFL team must be composed of equal parts male and female players. Of those female players, 75 percent must be active at all times, and every active female player must touch the football at least once during a game.

Feminists are applauding Goodell and the NFL.  They have long accused the National Football League of being sexist and bigoted. Fairness on the Field, a women’s rights group in Chicago who once sued the NFL for discrimination, has been lobbying the league to change its gender policies for decades. They are counting the NFL’s co-ed rule as a major victory.

“We couldn’t be more ecstatic,” said Kate Hohner, the group’s president. “The National Football league was once considered a bastion of masculinity. That women can now participate in it is a huge step for gender equality.”

According to sources inside the NFL, the so called “co-ed rule” will take effect at the beginning of the 2012 season. That means that the upcoming Super Bowl between the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers will be the last NFL Championship played by all-male teams.

The league will hold an NFL combine for women in April, said one NFL spokesman.

Deloris Green, a 30-year-old weightlifter from Marietta, Georgia, is planning to tryout as a walk-on running back for the Atlanta Falcons.

“I’m gonna get out there and show those guys what a real lady can do,” said Green, who clocks an impressive 4.50 on the 40-yard dash and can squat press 350 lbs. “If they could draft a sissy-boy like Tom Brady into the league, there’s no reason they wouldn’t pick a woman like me.”

Despite its overwhelming acceptance amongst women, the NFL’s decision to go co-ed does not sit well with some the league’s male fans. These NFL purists feel that football is inarguably a man’s sport.

“This is absolutely ridiculous,” said Jon Bovary, an irate football fan and male chauvinist from Detroit. “Once they let women play in the NFL, they’re going to have to let everyone play – children, animals, midgets, inanimate objects. Where will they draw the line?”

Overall, the new co-ed rule has received positive reactions from the league’s corporate sponsors.

In support of the rule change, the Reebok Corporation has partnered with the National Football League to launch their “Beauty and Grace Factor,” a line of pads and jerseys made exclusively for female football players.

Riddell, the equipment company that provides helmets and supportive undergarments to the NFL, will also produce a line of jockstraps and athletic cups designed for women.

According to a poll taken by National Football League, over 88 percent of active players say they approve of new rule change. However, they did raise some relevant concerns.

“Will we have to share our locker rooms with the female players?” said Steelers quarterback, Ben Rothlisberger. “Because if we do, that’s totally cool with me!”

This will be the last all-male Super Bowl… so enjoy it!

GREEN BAY, WI -  Aaron Rodgers dissed Brett Favre, who responded by sexting Rodgers a picture of his genitals.

Brett Favre was not happy that Aaron Rodgers dissed his Green Bay Packer legacy.

So he sexted Rodgers a picture of his junk.

After recent allegations from ex-Jets TV hostess Jenn Sterger, you would think that he would have learned his lesson. But, oh no, he is at it again although he is no longer targeting the ladies. This time around Favre is using his genitals to intimidate Rodgers.

In a what seems like a bizarre act, Brett Favre sexted pictures of genitals covered in Cheez Whiz to Aaron Rodgers right after the Packers secured their forth Super Bowl victory on Sunday. Accompanying the image was the message “Like my Cheesehead?  I am the greatest quarterback to ever wear the Green Bay uniform.  I am the man.”

Recently, there has been much speculation as to whether or not Rodgers is gay.  These rumors were started by Favre, though in recent years, Rodgers has not been seen out and about with any women other than his mother and his sister.

Since the news broke of the scandalous picture mail, many are now questioning the sexuality of Favre as well and wondering if perhaps Favre may “like” Rodgers in a more “meaningful” way.

“I think that this may be overstepping the boundaries of your typical Bromance,” said renowned Bromance expert Charles Higby, “Patting asses and hand shake hugs are standard in professional sports but this type of graphic sharing is a bit beyond the norm.”

Neither Favre nor Rodgers was available for comment due to the fact that they were both getting facials and mani-pedis together.

DALLAS, TX – A Weekly World News Exclusive Super Bowl Update!

Another ‘wardrobe malfunction’ occurred during this year’s Super Bowl halftime show!

The incident in question took place during the Black Eyed Peas’ halftime performance of their song “I Gotta Feeling.” In the middle of the song, band member Taboo squatted down and pointed out into the crowd. According to eyewitness accounts, as Taboo crouched into his unassuming stance and reached the lyrics “tonight’s gonna be a good night,” his pants came apart at the seams, revealing his diminutive genitalia, partially covered by a bedazzled piece of jewelry.

The incident went largely unnoticed by fans in the stadium and network cameras, likely due to the fact that Taboo’s genitals were too small to be seen by the naked eye.

But closer analysis of the video footage does indeed confirm that a “wardrobe malfunction” took place. Weekly World News photographer Boy Mack was on hand to snag a photo of the microscopic mishap.

Take a look for yourself:

So far FOX officials have yet to comment on the controversial incident. But if this year’s wardrobe malfunction follows in the footsteps of Janet Jackson’s nipple slip during the 2004 Super Bowl, then the FOX Broadcasting Company is looking at fines upwards of $550,000 from the FCC.

A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that watching the Super Bowl causes male impotence!

The study, which examined data from 20,000 incidents in which male participants were forced to watch footage from previous Super Bowls, successfully linked the watching of high-intensity, fast-paced sports footage to a sharp decrease in the male “virility.”

“The results were startling,” said biology professor Adam Dawson, the study’s lead researcher. “Even though Americans consider the Super Bowl to be one of the manliest events on TV, it turns out that watching it might not be so good for our…ahem… “health.”

According to Dawson, it is not uncommon for a man to contract a debilitating case of impotence even if he doesn’t profess to “watch the Super Bowl.” As the study suggests, merely being in the presence of a television on which the Super Bowl is being played can cause similar effects.

Even cheerleaders had not affect on the male participants in the study..

The study cites one case of a man who, after accidentally catching a glimpse of a Super Bowl commercial out of the corner of his eye last year, was rushed to the hospital with acute symptoms of impotence. He emerged three weeks later as a full-fledged woman.

“I never thought this would happen to me,” said the woman, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “I don’t even like football. I just went to that stupid Super Bowl party for the spinach dip. And now look at me!”

The study’s researchers cautioned to avoid watching the Super Bowl at all costs if they “value their manhood.”

“We know it won’t be easy,” said Dawson, “but were asking men to skip out on the Super Bowl this year. We want them to try to watch something else, something that doesn’t resemble the Super Bowl in any way – like an ice dancing marathon on the Lifetime channel.”

Some men have taken this warning to heart, and have already vowed to turn off their TVs come Super Bowl Sunday. Others, however, cannot resist the urge to sit back in their La-Z-Boys, crack open a few beers, and feast their eyes on the highly anticipated showdown between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers.

“Nothing gets between me and my Steelers,” said Bill Pascal, a diehard Steelers fan from West Pennsylvania, “not even incapacitating case of male impotence.”

“Besides,” added Pascal, “I’m chubby, bald, and a Steelers fan – who’s going to want to date me in the first place?”

Dawson said he hopes that the new study will raise awareness for the dangers and health risks involved in watching the Super Bowl.

“130 million people are going to watch the Super Bowl this year,” said Dawson. “That means at least 85 million men will be putting their masculinity at stake by tuning in. If you truly appreciate your manliness, then turn off that TV!”

Super Bowl XLV, which will be played between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers, airs next Sunday, February 6, on FOX. Coverage starts at 6:30 pm. Will you be watching?

NEW ORLEANS, LA – A very excited NFL fan is willing trade a special part of his anatomy for Super Bowl tickets!

An anonymous user on craigslist.org has posted a bizarre listing in the ‘barter’ section. On February 7, the Indianapolis Colts will play the New Orleans Saints in the Super Bowl XLIV game in Miami.

The user has proposed that in exchange for game tickets, he is willing to give his left testicle!

The ad reads:

WILL TRADE; Left testicle for Super Bowl tickets (Miami)

High capacity, O negative, well traveled, well maintained, larger than average, only used for @ 22 years! (was in storage before that)
1 available!
History of producing blond haired Caucasian males inclined towards joining the military. (1 army, 1 marine) (results may vary!)
All sales are final!!
Will complete transaction after the game! (and I’ll need a ride to the airport and help on a plane!)
Pictures/documentation available upon request.
No perverts!!!!!
Email for additional information!

It is unclear if this somehow violates craigslist’s posting guidelines, however the ad can still be viewed here:

I’m madder than a hillbilly with a busted banjo string because Obama isn’t helping those poor folks in Kentucky!

Seems they had a big ice storm and dozens of people are dead. More than a million homes haven’t got electricity. It’s a state of emergency but the funny thing is: I don’t see the midstream media filming folks looting plasma TVs or huddled together at Churchill Downs, yelling about cannibalism, or shooting the National Guard from the roofs of their hillbilly shacks.

I guess because none of that’s going on! All those crazy stupid hicks are just taking care of themselves and their neighbors, and clinging to their guns and bibles and Klan robes and moonshine to keep warm like they have for countless inbred generations.

But what’s our new Communist-in-Chief doing? Chowing down on arugula steaks at that fancy pants Buckwheat Dinner, then watching the Super Bowl in his toasty warm office. (Guess you heard that the same guy who told us “we can’t keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times” insists his Oval Office be kept hotter than an orchid greenhouse because “he’s from Hawaii.”)

Obama doesn’t want to make a fuss about the Kentucky ice storm, and not just because those hillbillies didn’t vote for him. It’s because if he does, his whole global warming scam goes right out the single-pane window! Boy, does Obama have slush on his face now!

The Teleprompter Kid better fly his magic unicorn over the rainbow and down to Kentucky pronto if he wants to keep that Spike Jones fella from making a nasty movie called “When the Generators Broke”. Obama said he’d stop the oceans from rising but he can’t melt a little snow?

That Obama! I tell you – he sure puts the “F” in FEMA!